Bray has all the brains.

My favorite past time is to go hang with the nieces and nephews. The cutest and coolest kids ever. My 10 year old nephew, however, is actually smarter than me sometimes.

We were driving to Salt Lake watching the movie Madagascar. HILARIOUS

There's this scene I had never noticed before where one of them, I think Gloria the Hippo, yells... "Oh Sugar Honey Iced Tea..."

This made me laugh, I cracked up and repeated it because I thought this was such a random phrase. I had heard it before in other movies, even in a song that i listen to almost every morning at the gym.. "..shawty is the sh-sh-sugah honey iced tea..."

Me: "HAHAHA, Sugar honey iced tea. Hahahaha... thats random."

Bray (from the back seat in the car): "Umm, Shay, you do know thats an acronym right..?"

Me: ?? "Acronym for..."

Bray: "...Take all the first letters shay..."

Me: "Sugar Honey I.... (my eyes get really wide) ooohhhhhh, thats bad!" hahaha- i laughed the rest of the way up to Salt Lake, because This is my new favorite phrase, its so funny. Bray and Tasha laughed the rest of the way too, at me.

Thank you, 10 year old nephew, for noticing that acronym long before I did and than pointing it out to me.

How did he even know that before I did? I asked him, and he said, because its obvious...

Dang you, smart guy.

sometimes...

Do you ever have those moments where you realize what your doing is SO STUPID and you look like an IDIOT.

Like, for example.... okay, one time I was on BYU campus waiting for my next class to start. It was a beautiful day and i'm outside talking with my Dad on the phone.

I am very intrigued in our conversation, I'm pretty sure I was explaining to him some fascinating research I had read about the brain. and then suddenly I realize what I am doing.

I am trying to step on my own shadow to get it off my feet. Yes. This is sadly true.

Imagine me doing this, if you will. I had been raising one foot high in the air and stomping on my other foots shadow while quickly hoping up in hopes it wouldnt be attached only to find the other foots shadow was attached. Than i'd do a small hop with both feet and than try the other foot.

what?!?! I must have looked like a complete dufus. The worst part is, I had been doing that for a good 5-10 minutes.... great.

....yes, attractive guy-man that just walked by, I have no excuse so i'll admit it, I am an idiot...

At least he tried.

So, I make it sound like I always get picked on and no one stands up for me.

This isn't true. One time my kind brother-in-law stood up for me once as the conversation had turned, yet again, to these all-too-common Shaylaisms.

"Hey guys, come on give her a break, she is kinda like Yogi Berra." Eddie said

Yes! Finally, someone who realizes how profound I am! "yeah, exactly! Just like Yogi Bear!"

....the cartoon Bear, he could have been smart. I thought thats what he was talking about. How the heck am I supposed to know who this Yogi Berra person is anyways. I thought he just said it wrong.

Everyone just started laughing. All Eddie can say is "ya know, forget it. I tried. And thats the last time I can stand up for you."

....Oops... hahahaha. He did try.

And for those of you who dont know who he is either, and I know there's some.. click HERE (on the word here) to see some of his quotes. I like this guy, he's hilarious.

Lamans Terms

If February, in my phlebotomy class, we were reading in the training manual about the phlebotomy procedure and came upon the sentence...

"To put it in layman's terms..."

"OHHHHH, f'real?!" I thought to myself (and thank gosh it was just to myself because as you may know I have a tendancy to say these things out loud)

My ENITRE life, I have thought the the phrase was Lamans terms....why?

Well this made sense to me, because in the Book of Mormon, Laman and Lemuel are idiots and don't really get things the first time, and typically things had to be reexplained to them in a different way. It always bothered me that no one ever said Lemuel's terms, so I convinced myself Laman must have been more stupid, so I have always disliked him more.

It also always astounded me when my nonLDS school teachers would use this phrase.

"Wow- that phrase must have caught on, and now it's pretty popular. How cool! The church IS true!" I'm 98% positive I even wrote "Lamen's terms" in papers in high school.

Turns out for 22 years of my life I was wrong again....

Christmas.

Christmas for me means two things. The first is family. Second-FINALS. yuck.

Well it was getting to Christmas season- and I had Finals coming up. I also had a study group set up with two VERYYY attractive guys. :D I discovered that studying with cute boys makes finals more bearable.

Well, I woke up and I had a shirt I really wanted to wear. It's totes cute, and since I was studying with cute boys I felt it was only appropriate to wear something cute. The problem was that I also felt like wearing Christmas colors. HELLO- it was Christmas time and so I felt it was only appropriate to wear Christmas colors. CAN YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?

I debated for a while. I couldn't decide, so I put on the cute shirt and left, a little bit distraught that I didnt have on Christmas colors, but I would get over it.

We are studying, I am answering their toughest questions, even teaching them a thing or two. We find some practice problems to work on and as I am writing, my eyes see the color of my cute shirt. it's green. all of a sudden it clicked!

Instead of just thinking to myself I declare out loud- "Green IS a Christmas color!" --oh great, did I just say that out loud?

The cute boys both look up, "Yes, it is. Very good Shayla."

I smile and nod. Shove my face back into my book, totally embarrased and act like that never happened.

I pray at least once a week they've forgot this riduclous statement....

My mother never fed me alphabet soup

At BYU- and I think everyone will agree- football season is the most exciting time of the year. And basketball- obviously. But each fall it is the best when theres a HOME GAME and we get to go to the LaVelle Edwards Stadium and watch the almighty cougars Defeat e'rybody!

I went to this game with my Best Friend- KT Pugmire (hollah!) Unfortunately for me, her new boyfriend had tickets in a different part of the stadium and she decided to sit with him.

"Well, thats rude. Where are his tickets?" I asked as we were approaching the stadium.

kt: "section T"

me: "Oh! Great!! I'm in section O! We are right next to each other!"

kt: stopped in her tracks, giving me that WTFreak?! look.

me: noticing the look. "Yeah, you know, L-M-N-O-T! We'll be next to each other."

kt: "um... no..."

me: "yeah! L-M-N-O--- ohhhh. it's P...." pause "T isn't even close- huh? Man, I was WAY off"

That actually happened.

So what?! I was sick the day they taught the alphabet in high school.

Please note that KT laughed- VERY hard. But there's good news- she did NOT pee her pants. well, maybe a little. hahaha.

Oh, Brother

When I was young my older brother told me that my mom couldn't wear watches. He told me it was because of the iron in her blood made them go BIZZURKE and not work.

(Two side notes: Hearing me tells this might be a little more humorous. Among a small list of words that I cannot pronounce quite right- Iron is one of them. I say it just like its spelled, like it SHOULD BE PROUNOUCED -- eye-ER-on -- if you have not heard me say this, ask me next time you see me- it's totes worth it. I Also cannot say jewelry. its not as easy as it looks. I say -- jur-UH-lee-- its not my fault my mouth just doesnt move like that. I also cannot say film. It comes out -- fill-UM-- kinda like an idiot would say it. But you know what- I'm over it.)

(Second side note: It's not THAT funny. Don't judge me. and don't act like you can say every word ever.)

ANYWAYS-back to the story. Last Summer, yes, the summer of my 21st year of life. My mom and I are doing what we do best- shopping. The Dialouge is as follows,

Mom: "you know what? I really need a watch."

Me: "Mom- you can't even wear watches."

Mom: Puzzled look on her face. "umm- why on Earth would you say that I can't wear watches?"

Me: "Well, duh Mom, because the irON in your blood. It makes them break, obvs"

Mom: Look has since changed to a sweet daughter of mine when did you become such an idiot look (you know what I'm talking about) "HAHAHAHAAAAA- Why would you think that? That is not even true."

Me: "I'm gonna kill that Blake. He told me that when I was 5 and I still remember."

Do you guys see what I grew up with?! It's no wonder I am the way I am. My brothers fed me false information in my most vulnerable stages of life, so young and impressionable. It makes me wonder what else I think to this day is true-but is just a LIE!

Oh, Brother! Why did you ruin my life so?

Texas down!

It was a Wednesday night. My little sister, Sharisse had worn my shirt that day, YET again.

For those of you who don't know- this was the single cause of contention growing up in my life. I hated when my sister took my clothes (oh--and when someone would take my parking spot-but thats a different story. Oh-and i hate bad guys too, again- different storIES)

During this argument back and forth, I really let her have it. The arguement had begun in the downstairs kitchen- and went a little something like this: "SHARISSE- i freakin HATE you wearing my stuff! Take it off RIGHT NOW- I wanted to wear that today AND tomorrow! (Did I really? No, but thats not the point.) Sharisse came back with some smart-alic comment and than ran upstairs. I followed her up yelling the whole way.

My brother, Caleb, was in the bathroom, heard us arguing, and shouted "if you guys don't shut up i'll come out there and MAKE you!" I tried to explain this TRAGEDY of her wearing my shirt YET AGAIN. And he didnt even care. He said if I say another word about it I'd be sorry.

This made me even MORE FURIOUS!! I was having the worst day ever, and I was mad. For me, these two things aren't a good combo. My mind started racing, just words flowing through my head rapidly. My mouth couldn't keep up.

My thoughts: 'Caleb cannot tell me what to do! I'll show him another word! I will have the last say in this arguement not him...Sharisse is goin down...' I then decided to speak these thoughts outloud and it came out a little something like this:

"SHARISSE- YOUR going down! TEXAS DOWN!!!"

My thoughts after these words spewed out of my mouth: 'what?! Texas down?? Why the world did I say Texas down? what does that even mean? When I thought to myself "sharisse is going down" I thought, well what is down? China? no- texas... these thoughts must have occured at the same time I was telling Sharisse she was going down. And I wanted to let her know just how far. I hope Caleb doesnt notice this phrase I just made up and makes no sense...'

Suddenly- the Next thing I hear is and OUTBURST of laughter. Not only from the bathroom. But from Sharisse. OH and from Everyone downstairs, who all heard it as well. Including the missionaries who were there for dinner. DANG IT! everyone noticed that might have been the stupidest thing they've ever heard. But than they remembered whose mouth it came out of, mine, and they understood. These stupid phrases are normal.

How embarrasing.

And no one will ever let me forget it. I think it's my Mom's favorite story to tell company at the dinner table actually.

A little insight into this blog/my life

OH my Family!

Every time we all get together- one way or another the conversation swings around to the same topic--

ME

And my all too often ill-thought out comments.

These are now known and widely accepted as Shayla-isms. Actually whenever anyone says something that sounds dumb- everyone chimes in "That was SUCH a Shayla-ism."

Want some examples? Well- each day I will provide you with more and more.

Some will be a blast from the past- some will be things that happen the very same day.

You'd thing that i'd have a few- but i've learned that every single day i surprise myself yet again by how someone so smart ( :D me) can think/say something so-- NOT SMART!

So I hope this site brightens your day, because afterall- at least you arent the idiot that said/thought that- so at least you have that going for ya...

Peace.Love.Shaylaisms