The man to blame...

MY DAD - (you will see, I'm just a "chip off the old block")

is the man you can blame for this blog of my pathetic errors in this journey of life.

you can blame him. I do. Let me tell you why...just let me share a little about this man and you will see he is the one to blame.


On our stairway down to the basement, there is a light fixture. This light has not worked once since I can remember. At least fifteen years. That light switch would never work. So to go to the basement, you had to leave the door open for light, until you made it down to turn on a light down there. Then run up to shut the door, then back down to do whatever. Well, one day a few months back, My old man decides, no, he was bound and determined, to fix that dang light. He messes with the light switch, pulled it out to see the wires, if they were frayed or something...Then he pauses, and gets this crazy idea. "Self," he says, "I'm just going to try, just to see before I make a bigger mess...what if i?... well, What if I get a new lightbulb and see if that works." He screws it in. LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!! You change the lightbulb and IT WORKS!!! After fifteen years. You'd think the man would have thought to change the dang thing. HAHAHA. And they think I DO STUPID STUFF.

Well, can you blame me? My GOSH! This story is even more funny, because My first year on my own in college, I called him after midnight one night. He was barely awake as he answered...

"He...hello?"
"Dad, what kind of light bulb do I need?"
"What? are you talking about?" He was still waking up, confused out of his mind. The light bulb in my living room had gone out. I had enough sense to know I needed a new one, but when I got to the store there were like 29 different kinds to choose from. who knew? I just wanted a light bulb! He laughed at me once he figured out what was going on.
"Haven't you ever changed a light bulb before?" he said. Yes, FYI, I had. I just never bought one. Obviously I changed lightbulbs, because we all know now that he never did, so someone had too.

Every once in a while, this man, says something worth remembering. He would tell me growing up when other kids would try to tease me (trust me, there wasn't much to tease me about because I am insanely awesome. They usually picked on my red hair...they were just jealous) He would tell me just to respond by holding up my finger in the shape of a hook and say "Hang it in your ear." ...which i never understood and thought was lame. I didn't get it until he explained that it meant that it doesn't matter what you think, so you can just take your opinions and hang them i your ear, cause i dont care.
    For some reason, this goofy statement "Hang it in your ear" pops into my head whenever I feel out of place or picked on. It makes me laugh a little, and I feel better. I don't worry about what they think. This became especially useful when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Without this advice and mindset of not worrying about others, I wouldn't have survived. Because I didn't care what others thought, didn't care that I was different, even though I may walk funny, I was still me,and that all that mattered.

When I first started having pain with my arthritis, I went straight to my Father. I remember, when I first started experiencing symptoms, I had spent a few nights in agony because my shoulder was hurting so bad. One night I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't sleep, so I went, crying into my Father. I was always convinced he could help any sickness or pain go away. He kindly woke up, assured me that it would be okay. That was enough for me to get some peace of mind, and after that, just having my Father assuring me it would all be okay, I was able to sleep that night. Slowly, as my whole body started to ache, he would always be there. Telling me it would all be okay. He would always tell me "If I could take your pain, I would." And that would make me feel better. Always. This man, my father, would sit with me every Sunday as I shoved a needle into my leg, because without him there, I couldn't do it. I wasn't brave enough. My Dad makes me brave, makes me the person I want to be. I'm so grateful for this man. Did he enjoy watching me in pain? Suffer? Shoot myself with a needle? Probably not. But he was always there, providing me with strength until I could find my own, By my side the entire time.

Although he may tell the worlds worst jokes, and truely believe they are hilarious, because you laugh not because they are funny, but because they are THAT bad you can help but laugh; even though he may take 15 years to change a light bulb; even though he may seem on the outside big, intimidating, rough, tough as nails; you'll be hard pressed to find anyone that more closely follows the Saviors example. And anyone that knows him will testify. He is often referred to as the "big teddy bear" because you can't help but feel and love his ginormous heart. This man will do ANYTHING for those he loves, quietly, no questions asked. I cannot count the number of times I've watched as my dear Mother just mentions some random thing or idea she has, for the house, decorations, church callings, whatever...and my Dad, not saying a word. And then, without even realizing it, it is done. Not just for my mom though. For all of us.

One time. my little sister, Sharisse, saw some strawberry millk. She exclaimed, "Man, I used to make that all the time as a kid, I haven't had that in forever!" The next day, she gets home from school, and there was some in the fridge for her. Really, Dad? Thats awesome.

Another time. My Mom had made a list of things she needed at the store, and Dad went to the store to get them. You see, She taught seminary and once a month would do these auctions if you made it to seminary on time you would get mormon bucks that you could buy things at these auctions. Anyways, one of the things she would off was a "Free day" where you didnt have to come to early morning seminary, but it would count as f you were there. She wrote "free day" on the list so she would remember for the auction. My Dad, poor guy, spent HOURS walking up and down every isle in the store searching for this "free day" not kowing what it was. An employee asked him if he could help him find something, and he explained. "I've searched all over, My wife wants a free day and I can't seem to find one. I dont even know what that is. Is it like, a type of tampon or something? I dont know?" The associate didnt know either. "Good luck with that one, man." He finally calls my mom to see what it was, and she explained. hahahahaha, they had a good laugh.

I could and would go on for hours about my Dad, but I think you get the point. He's the greatest in the world.

And you all still wonder why I'm not yet married? The poor guy has some awfully big shoes to fill.

H.G.= Homie G! The Holy Ghost

Imagine the type of friend that can always be there. Our constant companion. Imagine taking a test and he is right there with the best and right answers, whispering them in your ear.

Yep, that would be our friend, the Holy Ghost. As long as we treat Him right, CTR, all that jazz, he will be there telling us the right answers to the most important test we will ever take. The test of LIFE. HELLO?!! Thats kind of a big deal. If we fail here, eternity is gonna be forever. And not in a good way.

So lets listen to this guy, who has direct communication with the almighty perfect Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They let the Holy Ghost tell us the answers.

"Hey, the answer is C. for Choost the Right." he says.      "Hey, the answer is D. for Define THAT relationship, buddy!" (..yeah, I'm still waiting for him to tell me that answer....)

All we have to do is listen, carefully. Be worthy to have him around, then listen. Thats a great friend right there.

So obviously, after my last few posts, we can see we have some pretty amazing friends. Like I keep tellin y'all, the best. no lie. so how can we be better? Here's another story that changed my life.

I lost my wallet back in November. How inconvenient and stupid. Gay. Worst thing ever, because I had NO Photo ID and no access to my moneys. Lame. So I flew home (without photo ID, but they still let me fly. awesome) to get a new ID. I was home for sacrament meeting on Sunday before I had to come back to Utah. And I am here to tell you,  I NEEDED to be in Iowa at this time to hear this testimony because it changed me. A man got up to share his testimony. This man I've known my whole life, a tough guy. Loves his Harley. He bore his testimony, and shared a story. He has battled cancer, and a whole bunch of other things, trials, had occurred that I have no clue even what they are. And so he said to keep from getting discouraged, everyday as he drive to work, he prays. He prays the prayers of gratitude. So by the time he gets to work it doesn't seem to bad. One day, however, he was praying, and he said he had to stop. Pull over the car. And stop on the side of the road. His eyes welled with tears and he paused... and he said out loud, in his car. "Today, Heavenly Father, I hope you have a good day,"

BAM! That right there, changed my life. How many times have I prayed, and not once thought, "Gee, I hope YOU have a good day today." I'm always asking for things that will make my life good. Thanking him, bragging to him, about all that I do have to make MY life Amazing.

My prayers have drastically changed after that day, I try to always remember to Tell Him I hope he has a good day. I ask what I can do to help. And then I try to be a helper that day, which is not that easy. The next week after hearing that I was getting ready for the day, looking in the mirror thinking about How can I help? What can I do? and I said to myself

"Self. I'm starting with the (wo)man in mirror, I'm asking (her) to change (her) ways. No message coulda been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make the change."

Now I could be wrong, but I mighta just stolen that scene from a song. But seriously. It happened. That song came into my head, and It was beautiful. Thank You Michael Jackson, Thank YOU!

So, lets start with ourselves. Lets act on those kind thoughts we have to help others. Never suppress a generous thought. If I have something nice come into my head about someone, I try to share it and let them know how special I think they are. It doesn't hurt. I challenge you all to do the same. Brighten someones day. Everyone likes to know someone is thinking about them. If you care, share. By choosing to serve, you WILL recieve happiness, love, joy, blessings, and peace TODAY. TODAY is part of eternity, lets make it a good one.

my brother

My next BFF, is Jesus. My Brother. My Friend. The best. If My post about Heavenly Father doesn't make you feel important...Jesus will. I cannot describe him quite as eloquently as Elder Jeffrey R. Holland does, so I will eave it to him and share with you a quote from him:

"It was required, indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this perfect SON who has NEVER spoken ill, nor done wrong, nor touched an unclean thing, had to know how the rest of humankind - US, ALL OF US- would feel WHEN WE DID commit such sins. For this atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone.
But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings, that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that he NEVER flees or fails us. When the uttermost farthing had been paid, when Christ's determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully it was "finished." Against all odds and with none to help or uphold Him, Jesus of Nazareth, brought joyful spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness and despair. With faith in the God he knew was there, He could say in triumph, 'Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.'"

Does that not make you feel so loved, so special to Him, so worth it. Is He not the greatest friend we could ever hope for?

You guys!!! He came and lived PERFECTLY and then suffered everything we will ever suffer FOR US because He knew we would make mistakes. He knew we would need Him. He wanted to be able to be there to comfort us WHEN we need Him.

Can a share a personal story/analogy. This is about me learning to ride a bike and my brother, Caleb. It was summer, and I wanted to learn how to ride my bike without those pesky training wheels. My older brother Caleb was bored I suppose, so he offered to teach me, claiming he was a great teacher...although I'm not convinced he had ever taught anyone to ride a bike before.
 So he took me out and rode my bike around to show me how its done. Then he said "Okay, get on, I will hang onto the back of the bike as you pedal."
 To which I quickly replied "NO! You're going to let Go! I know you."
 "No, I won't duder. Just get on, I will hold on, you'll be fine. I've done it a thousand times. It's easy. Get on."
 "Promise you will hold on." And so I got on, He held on as i rode, wobbiling, in circles.
 Caleb then said "Okay, now we are going to go down the street try to ride straight. I will be right behind you holding on."
 Okay, straight. I can do this. So I pedal and I am doing it, I look back and Caleb isnt there! He's at the end of the street where I started. I immediatly fall. And it hurt. And I cry. "YOU said you wouldnt let go! Look what happened when I tried on my own. now I fell, you have no idea how bad this hurts!"
 He then explained to me that he did know what it felt like to fall, harder then I did. You see, when Caleb learned to ride a bike, NO JOKE, He just hopped on the thing and went. Rode perfectly the first time, as with most things he attempts. The only problem is, he didn't know how to stop. So, at the very end of his ride, he would run into a a tree. And, needless to say, that would stop him. But He did crash, and fall, harder then I did. He knew how it felt. He knew it hurt. But he now was a pro at riding a bike, he was able to teach me how, and he could relate to me when I fell and pick me back up, and tell me to do it again. I don't think I ever fell again after he helped me back up and made me try again. THIS IS A TRUE STORY. And thank you Caleb, for making me try again. Cause we all know I cried and I didn't want too.

Do you get my analogy? Christ, by suffering our sins can provide us that comfort we need to try again when we fall. He, just like Caleb did when teaching me to ride my bike. Shows us, helps us, guides us, and then lets us try it on our own. With our agency so we can learn.

AGENCY. A scary, scary thing for me. Especially realizing how GREAT Heavenly Father and Jesus are. It's like "Yeah okay, homie. ME?! You want me to choose? But I keep messing up! You'd be way better at choosing for me, can't you choose? I don't wanna." I feel so inadequate sometimes, but then, the words of Elder Holland come to my mind when he spoke at my little sisters graduation from BYU-H. He said if you ever feel inadequate, I have three words for you. "GET OVER IT!" ....okay! geez, fine, I will. okay! Mr. Sensitive over here...get over it! okay, i will!

God is perfect. He created YOU. He knows what He was doing. He's never made a mistake, hence the perfect word. So don't flatter yourself, He's not about to start making mistakes with you, k? He knew exactly what He was doing when He created us and sent us here at this time. WE WERE NOT A MISTAKE. We can never do anything too "BAD." He knows our weaknesses, faults, and mistakes better then any and He still loves us, wants us to get up when we fall, and come home. He sent Christ here to suffer those for us to enable us to come home when we do make our own mistakes.

He even gave us a special gift to help guide us HOME, the Holy Ghost...

Where are you from? Heaven! Yes, We are. My 3 BFFs are there

Whenever someone asks me where I am from. The Very first thing that comes to my head is Heaven. Directly followed by the quote from a CLASSIC movie.

"Is this Heaven?"
"No, Its Iowa."
"Huh, I coulda sworn it was heaven."

Yes, I am pretty sure Iowa is about as close to heaven as you can get, but I may be a little biased :-) But I want you to stop, now think about it.

We are all ultimately from Heaven. Do you realize that? I hope you do. Guess what else? My 3 BFF's live there. 1- Heavenly Father. 2- Jesus Christ. 3- The Holy Ghost.

I want you to think about this. They TRUELY are my BEST friends. Let me start with this post and dedicate the next few posts to explaining why. Let me tell you a little bit about Our Heavenly Father. About God. Lately, I've been unable to get how GREAT THOU ART, How GREAT our HEAVENLY Father, God, how amazing He is, out of my mind.

I want to share something with you. When I heard these facts it changed my life. I didn't know how to talk to God for WEEKS after learning this. (and for those of you who know me, you know that's a pretty big deal, I PRAY about everything, all the time. Whenever I don't know an answer to a question right away, I tell you to hold on because I have to pray about it. Sometimes this is a joke, but about most of the time, I'm actually serious, I love my relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ). BUT I learned some facts about the universe, and how BIG He is, and I was immediately, beyond humbled. Allow me to share...

I want you to think about the state you are living in. For me, it is Utah. I can honestly say I haven't even been everywhere in Provo/Orem, then I scale out and think about the entire state of Utah, definately havent seen everything there is to see here, it is a BIG PLACE.  Lets scale out a little farther, the entire US....Wait, the entire Planet Earth. MASSIVE!!! As the Lion kind song goes "There's FAR too much to take in here. More to find, then can ever be found. More to see then can ever be seen. More to do then can ever be done." And it's true. How blessed we are that God created such a great, massive, beautiful place for us to try and explore all of its wonders, to live and discover ourselves. AMAZING!!! Thank you God!

But, this isn't what changed my life. What I'm about to tell you, did. (As heard from Louis Giglio) I'm gonna share with you about a little star found in our galaxy. NOT the planet Earth, which is one measly little pebble compared to all the BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of STARS in OUR GALAXY. This,, however, as far as I know to date, is the biggest star we've discovered in our Galaxy, it is called the Canis Majoris (which i'm pretty sure means the Big Dog Star, and it is).

THE CANIS MAJORIS.
        This Star is SO BIG. You can fit SEVEN QUADRILLION Earths inside this star. Do you know how much that is? Can you even comprehend a Quadrillion?! I cant even wrap my head around a million. Let me put this into perspective for you. 1 million seconds ago = 12 days ago. 1 billion seconds ago = (I know, your thinkin, okay that takes us back to December, right? No.) = 1970's. Yes. 1 trillions seconds ago= 29,700 BC!!! 1 Quadrillions SECONDS ago= 30 million 800 thousand YEARS ago is 1 quadrillion SECONDS ago. THATS a BIG NUMBER. and you can fit SEVEN QUADrILLION EARTHS in this single STAR in OUR GALAXY.
         If EARTH were the size of a golfball, a GOLFBALL. Go ahead and find a golfball, imagine that is the planet Earth, now find YOU on that golfball. And don't lose yourself. If Earth were a golfball, Canis Majoris would be the size of Mt Everest!!!!!!! That is SIX MILES ABOVE SEA LEVEL. Put the golfball at the bottom, climb 6 miles to the top, find your golfball and find you on it.
      If Earth were a golfball, you could fill the ENTIRE state of TEXAS with golfballs. 22 INCHES DEEP. Find the one you're on. And then find you on it.

I immediately felt so small. So insignificant. I didn't realize how BIG God, the CREATOR of this MASSIVE STAR, just how big he was. THEN I LEARNED SOMETHING ELSE. And This is when I didn't even know how to talk to God I felt SO SMALL. The Hubble Telescope Found the darkest spot in our galaxy. a Little TINY DOT just above the big dipper. It zoomed in on it to see what was in there. it dicovered there were BILLIONS of GALAXIES back there, in the darkest spot in our galaxy are BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF MORE GALAXIES. Then it zoomed in on the darkest spot there. and found MORE GALAXIES. And we are told in the scriptures that God has created Worlds EXACTLY like ours, so many they are WITHOUT NUMBER. SO many we cant even count how many there are. With people like you and me.

This stumped me. Because my WHOLE life here on Earth, I had been sitting here COUNSELING God. Telling Him how things should go. Drawing out my own game plan and telling Him how this was better and bigger then anything He could do. At least 20 times a day, I would brag about how I knew what was going on and I figured out the best. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Learning all this and how powerful, HUGE, omnipotent HE IS! I felt so small, I wanted to die, but I wasnt sure if He would notice, so I figured that was a little dramatic so I turned to the scriptures instead.

This book He gave us with His words to US So that we can KNOW HIM and KNOW that we do matter to Him. That He loves US TO MUCH BECAUSE WE ARE HIS CHILDREN. We are HIS. HIS own creation with his own two hands. I want to share with you what I Read shortly after learning HOW GREAT HE IS.

Moses 1:39 For Behold, this is MY WORK and MY GLORY to bring to pass the immortality and eternal  life of MAN.
     YOU GUYS!!! IT's US!!! YOU and ME. YOU. YOU are His Work, and His Glory. The man who can speak and it will be done, the creator of these massive stars and beautiful Earths and countless worlds and children. Tells you RIGHT HERE!!! YOU Are why. YOU are HIS WORK and GLORY!

Does that NOT GIVE you the CHILLS. He KNOWS and is VERY VERY aware of you. If you just stop and look you will SEE. You CANNOT DENY He is there constantly EVERY DAY very intimately in your life. He knows you PERSONALLY and Is always there. I know youre thinking, or at least I thought as i remembered just how big he is, "yeah, that all sounds good, but there SO many more MEN just like me out there. How can he notice and care about me." And I kept reading. And He told me a few short chapters later,

Moses 6:34 Behold, MY SPIRIT IS UPON YOU.... thou shalt abide in me and I in you: Therefore walk with me
        RIGHT THERE. He tells us He WILL be WITH YOU!!! And He cannot lie, you guys. If He says it, it must be true. And he has told us COUNTLESS of ways COUNTLESS times. Scriptures,  Prophets, our daily lives.

We are His CHILD. Think of it this way. You have a child. Or in my case, your friends have children. They call or POST ON FACEBOOK all of the time about how much they love their child, the cutest thing they just did, (made a a poopoo and it was so cute...peed their pants and it was so cute...) But the one that parents seem to be MOST elated about ALL THE time is their child's FIRST STEPS. Parents spend months teaching their child how to walk, first by walking themselves to show them how its done. Then by holding their childs hands as they stand, moving their feet for them to allow them to get the feel of how to do it. They promise they wont let go, but eventually they do, very sneakily, as they grab the camcorder and watch their child take their first steps on their own "OH my goodness!! EVERYONE LOOK MY CHILD IS WALKING" preceeded by a video of the Child taking about 3 steps before they topple over. They are BEAMING with PRIDE!!! "MY CHILD JUST WALKED" I'm sure their child is sitting there, crying, and if they could talk they would probably say "Are you kidding me Mom and Dad? excuse me, WHY are you so happy? I hardly walked. I took  THREE Steps and then I fell, and IT HURT. I don't know if I can get back up, I don't know if I can do that again. I didn't walk I FELL Down." But you rush to their side, pick them up, and encourage them they CAN do it IF they try again.

How often do we do ths with Heavenly Father when we try new things? He sent us His own Son, Jesus Christ, to show us how to walk. Then we come here and for the first 8 years, the first little while, He holds our hand as we get a feel for it. Then eventually, very sneakily, before we feel ready, He lets us go and we try to walk on our own. and WE TAKE 3 STEPS! and he calls everyone around, "Hey, Nephi, Captain Moroni, Moses, Noah, Grandpa Bill, Grandma Eleanor!!!! Guys, Come look!!! Shayla just WALKED!" And how often do I go to him, crying saying, "are you jokin? I hardly walked, i took 3 steps and I fell, and it hurt, and I dont want to do that again. I failed. I don't think I can do it." and He helps us up, comforts us, and tells us to do it again. and before we know it, we have become expert walkers. AMAZING.

How GREAT Thou Art. And How much he loves us. I hope you all realize that. He loves us SO MUCH. He is my BEST FRIEND. He loves me SO MUCH He gave me my next best friend, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, and My family, and my great friends. All of which I will talk about in the coming days.

He misses us, He wants us to come home SO BADLY. Thats why He sent us His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, our example of how to talk on our own, and the way in which we can return Home to Him.

TODAY- Tell Heavenly Father you love him. When you Pray, Pause and tell him "Today, Heavenly Father, I hope you have a good day!"  and mean it. and do all you can to help Him have a good day today. Make Him your BFF too.

ONE more thing....

I have decided I am going to give all my readers a little insight to explain why I am the way that I am.... check out this clip from The Office first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5d5jxJ5vbM

...okay... now lets get back to me.

To explain why I am the way that I am... these next few posts are going to be about each member of my family. They are the ones that raised me and shaped me as I was developing, so they are the ones I blame, so Enjoy reading about them for a while instead of me!!!

UPDATE!

Sorry i've negleted the blog lately, but hey, life got busy. It happens yes. I will start off with another new "Shaylaism"

My sister Ashley and I were having a discussion one evening.

We were talking about the finer things in life, and I was sharing with her my final thought that was really going to make the point I was trying to make.

I dont remember the discussion or the point i was trying to make, but I made it clear and to make sure she knew I had just made my point I said this:

"...point in hand"

BAM! Case close. Period. End of Discussion. My Point is clear. Next subject please.

All those things I could have said and I came up with "Point in hand" what does this even mean?

Well, Ashley didn't know either and started laughing and pointed out that "point in hand" doesnt even make sense.

I say this is typical me, making up phrases.

BUT-- here is why I said it --- listen up... I couldn't remember the phrase "Case and Point" ...nor did I even know what the heck that phrase is even supposed to mean anyways. Who does? So i couldn't exactly remember it... so I said "point in hand" which sounded right.

Boy was I wrong.

FAWC (For All Who Care): Case and Point, as my other sister so kindly explained to me earlier, means like, you won. Like the "Case" is closed and you won. and also you made the "Point" ... as in declared your point, or got the points, made the basket got the points, something like that. Basically that you won.

This time of year takes me back....

Takes me back to a time not so long ago.

Around a year ago as a matter of fact.

It was basketball season. This particular cold December-ish day was particularly freezing... and there was a BYU cougar basketball game that night. NOT just any old game, no. At this particular game, they would give you tickets to go watch the Cougars play at the Energy Solutions Arena in Salt Lake. Best tickets go to whoever was there first when they opened the doors for the game that night.

AWESOME! I thought... in previous years my sister, Ashley, would always have to sit outside in a line for hours before the doors opened, all day, to get tickets for games like these. This year, Ashley was on her mission, so i knew it was up to me know to wait in line to get those tickets. It was my turn to shine and i wouldn't be the one to let people down.

8am, no classes because I was finished up for Thanksgiving break. The game was at 7pm, doors open at 5pm. 8am, and I roll out of bed, put on my 3 layers of sweaters, coat, long johns, pants, two pairs of socks, Hot Hands and Toasty Toes, 3 blankets, stalking cap, and of course my mittens (for those of you who dont really know, I dont even think about going out in the cold without my mittens, ever), I grab my backpack so i can study while i wait in line, and I rush out the door and drive down the the Marriott Center.

"Self, you're the best! First one in line! Alright!!! Good one, Shayla!" I say as I sit in front of the doors, first in line...boy, its cold in the shade, but i don't care, being first in line makes it TOTES worth it!

9am... no one else in is line yet... 10am... not a single person....

hum, this is kinda weird i keep thinking. But i KNOW the second I leave the mad rush is going to come and I will have sat in the cold for two hours for nothing.... there's no way i'm leaving... but boy, hot chocolate would sure be nice around now....

11am.... 12.... 1pm.... no one. I'm the ONLY one. Wrapped in blankets.... sitting in front of the Marriott Center doors. A man walks past me. He pauses after he passes, and turns around.

Man: "Are you alright, Miss? Do you like, need a phone or a ride somewhere?"

Me: "Oh, me? No, no no. I'm fine, thank you. I'm just waiting in line... for the game... to get tickets..." And i glance around at the NOBODIES in the line behind me, I'm still the only one

Man: "Oh!" He says as look gives that look of 'uh, your a idiot,' and he points across the street at the Lavell Edwards stadium, "The game is over at the stadium, and it's not until Saturday." (It was the week of the BYU vs Utah football game that Saturday)

Me: "Oh, yeah, no I already have tickets for that game, I'm talking about the basketball game tonight. If you come tonight you get tickets to watch the cougars play up in Salt Lake."

Man: "Okay, welp, have fun... in line... " and he smiles and walks away.

This is where I officially feel like a LOSER. but 2pm....3pm... FINALLY, my buddy Spencer came to join me! haha, now there are two people in line. And I choose to ignore the fact that he only came because he felt SO bad for me for being SUCH an idiot. HAHAHA. to this day I still LOVE SPENCER BANTA for this. hahha... we laughed and studied for another hour and a half, still the ONLY ONES in line, until FINALLY others came to get in line.

This story has a happy ending... I got us FRONT ROW tickets to the game. haha, right next to the band. but Brandon Davies fell on us. AND Kyle caught me Chris Miles sweat band after the game. AND we proved the cougarettes are even more scary being close up.

I still wanna know why NO ONE told me not to camp out... jerks.

Being a good roommate

Let me reminisce for a moment and share a classic "Shayla KT" Moment (aka Kayla or Shaytie)

Sophomore year. We were ridiculous.

Our roommate, We will call her Megan M, No wait, I dont wanna give away who it was so we will call her M Myers. OHhhhhh M Myers!!! hahahahaha

She loved Chad Michael Murray, LOVED him. So one day KT and I were waiting for class to start and thought it would be hilarious to send Megan a text message. It went a little something like this "Oh my gosh! Did you hear that Chad Michael Murray died?!" Dont ask why we did this, cause we dont really know why.

HAHAHAHAHA, we thought it was HILARIOUS! She texted back like 30 minutes later saying "No, he didnt, I dont believe you." But she did believe us. she googled it. than when it wasnt true she had to act like she didnt fall for it. but she did.

BUT since she claimed she didnt fall for it, we decided we will catch her on a prank.

So, later that semester we saran wrapped her toilet bowl. She claimed she saw it before.

And we also put tin foil underneath her sheets. Like the one with the elastic through it so it stays on the bed. She claims she knew it was there before she got in bed. Which is IMPOSSIBLE because you couldn't see it and we heard it crinkle that night and LAUGHED SO HARD, but quietly so she couldn't hear.

Oh yeah, we also wrapped her desk chair up in wrapping paper and when she got home we told her we bought her a present. That it was in her room. hahahhaha, little did she know it was her CHAIR. hahahahahahahahahaha.

GOOD times! These few things made us officially the best roomates ever.

These are my confessions

1. Sometimes I like to sing out loud in public places. Okay-more like I start singing, don't realize its out loud until i notice the odd look from the person near me. This usually isnt until about half way through the song and I've already passed dozens of strangers, probably all lookin at me like "okay, crazy." You know what I say to them "YOU'RE CRAZY" and than I thrust one fist high into the air to demonstrate that I'm superior.

2. sometimes I also sing in the shower. But i recently stopped because singing leads to a weak attempt to dance. And believe you me when I say I was not ever meant to dance, I am extremely uncoordinated at moving my body and having it come out looking good.... and as i began to dance this last time in the shower, I almost slipped. It was then i realized this could get dangerous. So i stopped singing.

3. I say a lot of things that I don't really know what they mean. Sometimes I get away with it too. Although sometimes I dont. I've shared some of my failed attempts on here. Another recent one: I was taking the hottest guy in the world's pulse at work (him and I are mfeo=made for each other- i'm not kidding.). well, he started rambling off random numbers while I was counting the pulse in my head. So I said "well, GREAT! now I either have to start over or just beef the results" I do not know what beef the results means. Neither does he. and he called me out on it "What the heck? Beef the results? Did you just say that? What is that? a new phrase, were you trying to be cool?" He said to me. SHUT IT, yes okay I was trying to be cool. I am cool. Everyone says it. You just dont know anything. gosh. Lucky for him, he's so hot I didn't even get that mad at him for calling me out. I just laughed like an idiot and told him he only wishes he could come up with sayings that cool like me. I gave him permission to start saying it. He said he would not be caught dead saying that. I say its his loss.

4 again. Sometimes I say to myself: Self- you are soooo good looking. And i'm serious. And that makes me smile.

5. I hate running into people I sort of know. People I know only 2 things about them. Or at least I did know 2 things about at one point but these things were so boring I forgot them about 5 minutes after they said it because I thought "Wow, that's incredibly boring"

5 and 1/2. I hate even more when me and this person are the only people in the hallway walking towards each other. I panic and start to dig in my pockets to pull out my phone to act like I have to send a very important text right then. Its usually at that point i realize my phone isnt even in my pockets, so I have to dig through my purse (as if this isnt just SCREAMING "I'm trying my hardest to avoid eye contact so I don't have to talk to you, because i don't want to talk to you. You bore me.") I can never find my phone, So I decide to act like my shoes are the most interesting thing on earth and I glue my eyes to the ground, and just so i don't seeem rude, I decide that I am going raise my eyes at the last second as we pass to say a quick "hello! I didn't see it was you coming down the hall towards me, sorry we can't chat longer" Well, I start to get nervous so I usually raise my gaze from my shoes too early. They do the same so we make eye contact. Now we are trapped. So we both say "Oh, hey!" at the same time. We smile they say "How are you?" at the same time I was saying "Hows it go...you...too...ha?" Because my orignal thought is to say hows it going, then when they say how are you I switch my thinking to say the same thing too late, and it comes out sounding like something IDIOTIC, like "how goes you too going...." Then we both say "good" at the same time. And THERES STILL ANOTHER 3 SECONDS, the longest 3 SECONDS EVER, until we pass, so I giggle, then hold my breath and act like my shoes suddenly became very interesting again. after I pass I think to myself: "Self- Good one! You dodged that bullet!"

6. I really like to watch the disney channel. Still... yeah, i do. I even use my nieces and nephews as an excuse to watch it. I babysit them and ask what they want to watch. They usually say something lame like Ben 10. Then I turn on Wizards of Waverely Place on the Disney channel anyways and pretend that's what they wanted to watch.

6 and 1/2. Sometimes I watch it when I'm home by myself too... so sue me.

7. I enjoy playing in the rain. And I hate walking through snow.

8. Most of the time when I wake up, I feel like I am missing someone. I don't really know who or why I feel this way. However, I think when I get married this feeling will go away.

9. When I was young, my Dad told me I would marry someone named Phinneas Pharnsworth. I kind of believe this is why i'm not married yet. I don't want that as a last name, and I haven't met anyone by that name yet.

10. I fall in love with a new guy about every other day. And usually I am over it by that night. Maybe most girls get past this when they are 12.... big deal...i didn't. But I still think about that hott australian mysterious biker man I met last month... and I choose to ignore the fact there's a .2% chance of ever meeting him again.

11. My favorite snack in the world is "the snack that smile back goldfish." I like to act like they are swimming before I eat them, swimming into my mouth and I am the shark that devours them. But sometimes I like to be the Great Fish from Jonah and the "Whale" (which was never actually called a whale, just a great fish) and act like I am just transporting them to where they need to be. in my belly. I also love animal crackers, and i play with them before I eat them too.

12. Also previously discussed in my blog- my brothers liked to tell me lies when I was younger, I dont find out that what they said were lies til, like now. Here's a new one I have never told anyone. I don't remember if my brothers told me this or if I just made it up and believed it for a long time. But I always believed that you had to close your eyes during a prayer because then the holy spirits could come down during the prayer. And if you didn't close your eyes they couldnt come and grant the blessings in your prayer. So during my personal prayers i always sqeezed my eyes shut extra tight so I could get all the blessing I asked for. I realized a few years back this wasnt true, but I still squeeze my eyes tight during personal prayers just in case. However, during public prayers like at church, I keep them open, and look around to see who else has there eyes open too. And than laugh when I see someone doing the same.

13. I love to paint and draw, however I don't do this much anymore, and it's sad cause I should. I will.

14. I am still afraid of the dark. When I was growing up I always made my little sister go places with me if it was dark. Including out to my car at night if I left something in there. Even though it wouldn't be much help if a bad guy came, at least I wouldn't be alone, and this made me feel better. Oh I hate bad guys as well. They are stupid jerks.

12. reviewing some of these confessions makes me think i'm still a twelve year old girl at heart.

i like to sing along..

.... i sing to songs.

... and i sing out loud.

....and i sing in front of others.

welp, sometimes i sing to songs and i think i know what its saying, but i dont.

Dont act like you've never done this.

My favorite mistake in a song i've made is to that song "live like you were dying" by Tim McGraw.

I always thought it went like such:

"I went skyyydivin, I went Rocky mountain climbin, I went 2.7 seconds on a four wheel drive tailgate."

Skydivin= big deal. Rocky mountain climbin= big deal for some. Four wheel drive tailgate= ?? Did I know why that was such a big deal? No. Maybe because it was a bumpy road and he was in the back of a truck- i don't know. But i didn't question it.

....until i sang it in front of my sisters, and they laughed as they pointed out that those aren't even the words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8 watch the video. the chorus starts at 1:03

APPARENTLY its 2.7 second on a bull named blue man shoe, or something like that. It makes more sense, makes the song a lot better... but between you and me, I still sing it my way. I secretly like it better because I have been skydiving, rock mountain climbing, and 2.7 seconds on a four wheel drive tailgate too. So yes, i relate to that much, much better anyways.

either way- someday i actually do hope you all get the chance to live like you were dying. don't be embarrassed or sweat the small stuff. sing songs outloud, even if you dont know the words. the classic "fade and slur the words to the parts you dont really know but try to make it seem like you know what your saying (ie: that chumbawumba song.... i get knocked down, but i get up again... do wah de da de dah dowahdo.... i get knowcked down, but i get up again... fle flop flu fla de dah de dah do....)" cop out works almost everytime.

again, dont act like you never do this.

truth or dare?

My life as of late has been LAME. no funny sayings, which is unusual.

SO, i need to start doing more crazy things and reporting on the outcomes.

I will be taking DARES. Those who know me, if you dare me, i will do it if it isnt gay.

For example. Last week I went to dinner with a big group of work people. they dared me to talk to a table of 3 hottie hotties. They thought I wouldn't do it.

PAH-LEASE! as if that scares me at all. So, with my hair looking crazy flying everywhere because i was riding with the top off my car, I walk up to this table of boys and chat it up for a while. because i wanted to date any of them? nope, i've recently DESPISED dating actually, but i did it because they didnt think i actually would.

This lack of hesitancy when it comes to boys goes way back to the first grade, it all started with a letter i wrote to the hottest boy in the whole grade....

Yep, i gave that to him. i'm pretty sure Kaitlyn Clark dared me to do it.

SO- we will be playing truth or Dare, send me a comment on here, or a facebook message, or an e-mail. and i will either answer a question, or perform your dare. HOWEVER, you have to do one too. this game could get huge, i think its a SIIICK idea, i love it.

SO, Truth or Dare, READY- Set- GO!

my nephews

i went to church with my sisters family.

my five year old nephew said, shayla- lets arm wrestle.

"okay buddy" says i, "but dont cry when you get beat by a girl"

we both put our hands together and i start pushing

ashtain says "shayla, your supposed to push my hand, let me know when your going."

okay- rude- i was actually pushing as hard as i could you little man.

HE is FIVE!!! but let it be said that he is Ashman the StrongMan, so its not a pathetic as it sounds....

haha, this is just a cute side note-- I was at their house the other day and Ashtian comes up and says.

"shayla, i learned how to pump on the swings..." he lifts up his shorts leg real high "... and check thes bay-bah's (baby's) out!" HAHAHAHA, cute

so, i was at work doin my thang....

and was having a conversation with a man. i do not remember this whole conversation, the only thing i remember this part...

man: "it sure turned out to be a nice day after all."

me: "yeah, clear as a bird"

WHAT? what the crap was clear as a bird supposed to mean??

me: "sorry, that doesnt even make sense, ..clear as a bird.."

man: " i think you meant clear as glass"

me: "yeah, like clear as crystal glass"

man: "yeah, that too..."

where i got clear as a bird is beyond me.... they arent even clear.

pick up lines are harder than i thought.

So, I recently changed my work out schedule to night after work due to other obligations in the mornings. Well, i figured I would try it out this week at least and see how it goes.

It only took one day of going at night to convince me that this was a better option. and there was one major reason...

Hot Boy working the front desk

So, i walk in on Monday night and here's how it goes...

Matt (the hott boy)- "hey, whats your name?"

me: "Shayla"

Matt:" oh, how long have you worked out here?"

me: "a while..."

Matt: "how long is a while?"

me: "ummm, since like may-ish, but i usually come at 6am."

Matt: "oh, nevermind, you looked familiar. I think you look like a girl that used to work out here when I worked here before my mission."

me: ...(my thoughts are- oh, is he hitting on me kinda? no! he's too hott for that... he wouldnt hit on me..) "oh- were did you serve?"

Matt: "Fort L... (something- I stopped listening kinda), Texas"

me: "oh... cool. well, have fun working out, I mean... uhh... working.... here.... uhhh... Matt, is it? oh...k bye"

Great, I totally messed that one up, I thought as I started on the eliptical machine. but While I was working out I thought of a really good come back pick up line i should have said... dang it. (i'll tell you what it is in a minute)

Well, as I was finishing up my work out Matt was at the top of the stairs. As a passed him, he flashed me his charming smile, did "the nod"and said, "see ya..." He either said "later" or "Shayla", i prefer to believe Shayla, but either is valid. I said- "later!" and ran down the stairs.

I went back tonight. I walk in, and was very excited to see that Matt was there. "what should i say?" i thought to myself...

matt: "hey, hows it goin?"

me: "good- it was Matt, right?" (as if i kinda didnt remember....please...)

matt: "yeah! good memory"

me: "yeah, well i try!" (that was dumb, but i was on the spot. And just when I thought I couldn't get any dumber, I go and do something like this... and TOTALLY redeem myself.... well... you be the judge.)

me: "So, yesterday when i started working out I thought of a good come back i should have said to you. When you said A girl looked like me that came here before your mission, I should have said "Lucky her! not everyone is so fortunate to look like me"

matt: "yeah, thats good, but it's a little too late for that... the moment is passed (passed? past? i dunno, whatevs)"

me: "oh, your right... uhh... haha... yeah... its too, yeah its too late.... for that one... worth a shot though...haha...ehh... k bye." and than i ran up the stairs, gave him no chance to respond because I was turning red...how embarassing.

Great, if I didn't blow it the first time, I definately did that time.... awesome... oh well.

I'll see him tomorrow, and see what kind of fool I can make out of myself then. Although- happy ending is, he still said "see ya shayla!" with his charming smile, actually, this time it was more of a little chuckle, when I left... so maybe i haven't yet lost this fight...

But, now I realize it's not so easy being a guy having to hit on a girl. I have more respect now for when guys try to use pick up lines on me.... not that easy... not that easy....

let me hit you with some knowledge.

So below i am goin to pose two questions. These are demonstrations of thing that make me laugh but really wonder.

The first is courtesy of my uncle Ken. The raddest guy around.... actually to be honest everyone in my family is officially the raddest. I can't think of one single uncool person in my family, including cousins, 2nd 3rd, 4th cousins... besides sharisse maybe.... j jokin! Shes probs the coolest of us all.

k question numbero uno- thanks ken!

1- how come when we say pants it is always referred to in the plural. And how come whenever we say shirt it is always in the singular. For example- you always say "i need a new PAIR of pantS" but everyone knows your only buyin one. and if you ever need more then one you say " a FEW new PAIRS of pantS" generally, however, in this instance, a few normally means two, and everyone knows it. However, you always say "I love my shirt" And when you say "I need a new pair of shirtS" its always at least 2.

Why? Pants are only one article of clothing, same as a shirt, yet however its always plural. tell me why!

The next one. Courtesy of Cam. Cam is the SECOND most hilarious guy i know,(obviously the first being my bff kalani) there's never a dull moment around him... he's also a very inquisitive thinker. Here is his question.

Ima preface this one with a definition for ya-

awe. A, noun. 1, awe. an overwhelming feeling of wonder or admiration

So, how come when something has "SOME" or a little bit of awe, we call it AWESOME, and it is a really good thing. (awesome is Cams favorite descriptive word of anything he thinks is good, like himself... haha)

When something is FULL of awe, it is a very bad thing. hence, AWFUL. full of awe. how is full of admiration a bad thing? .... humm.....

so, what are some answers? I need some. Or some more interesting questions.HOLLAH AT ME!

Oh work

So I was at work. It had been a rather long and busy day.

I finishing screening someone, and I go to grab the next chart up to be screened.

I read the name before yelling it out to call that person back...

JASS (last name), HUGH (first name)

Hugh Jass I say to myself. Say it outloud and listen to what your saying.

And I thought my life was rough.... poor guy.

But at least I had a good laugh, I was laughin so hard i couldnt even call his name outloud... I skipped that chart and called the next one.

Thank gosh I'm not as dumb as you look, because turns out Mike, the manager i tricked about my schedule, made this fake chart as a joke to make me yell "HUGH JASS" out loud to call him back to the booth.

NICE TRY, MIKE! haha, sucka! the thing is, i really almost did yell this, and probably would ahve if i thought i could do it with a straight face.

Bray

It was after work.

I was Starvin Marvin. So i went to Costa Vida to get a delicious Sweet Prok Salad- mmm!!

Then my phone rings... it's my "clever" 11 year old nephew, Bray

me: "hey buddy! whatsup?"

Bray: "oh nothing. We want Costa Vida too!"

me: ..oh they must be here!... "where are you guys, i dont see you!"

Bray: "Turn around"

me: ...I turn, I dont see them...

Bray: "keep turning..."

me: ...probably on my third full circle in the middle of costa vida, by myself... "where are you?"

Bray: "just keep turning... turn..... keep turning...."

me: ... like an idiot i'm still doing circles in the middle of the line. I'm pretty sure a ton of people are looking at me like, whats this girls deal? I'm probably on my tenth circle by now.

Bray: "you dizzy yet? we're on University."

THEY WEREN'T EVEN IN COSTA!! They saw me walk in as they drove by! And the little twerp had the audacity to make me spin in circles like a dang fool... hahahahahaha. how does he come up with this stuff.

my big question, however, is why did i continue to spin in circles after like, i dunno the first THREE? why didnt i stop spinning? ...i have no idea... i dont wanna know.

... nor do i want to know what those people in line thought of me spinning in so many circles.

once again...

So... apparently it is not "at the rightful age of..." APPARENTLY it is "at the RIPE OLD age of..."

who knew??!

Yet again... another thing i have gone 22 years having no idea i was completely wrong...

And all i can say is WOW.

did y'all know this? or am i the only one who didn't know?

Dang it..

So after that more serious post below, I will provide you with a new Shayla-ism that will make ya laugh so you dont leave feelin depressed.

So, a couple days ago, Tuesday to be exact, I go into work.

My Manager: "Shayla, don't you have today off?"

me: "oh boss, of course I don't have today off, or else I wouldn't be here. I'm not an idiot who comes to work on her days off. Geeze."

My Manager: "Humm, okay. well when do you have off."

me: "Saturday..."

He smiles, rolls his eyes, and goes about his business, all the while i'm thinin, oh boss, you are so silly. Don't try to tick me to thinkin I have the day off. I'm not going to fall for it.

You see, my manager is a funny guy, and he jokes around a lot. so i thought he was joking.

I go home, look at the schedule.

...I had that day off. Crap.

Lucky for me, I had been on a date with my managers best friend, so I got the inside scoop on his favorite candy. Twix and Snickers.

Perfect. I bought him a twix and snickers. I wrote a post it that said "Mike- Sorry that I "twix" ya about my schedule, hope it made you "snicker"

I threw them at him, okay maybe i didnt throw them, but I handed it too him and said "Please dont fire me! I know for a fact these are your favorite candies" He laughed and told all the other managers about my stupid mistake and how i gave him a hard time, they all laughed. and i left. embarrassed.

But at least I wasn't fired. I think the candy did it. And they gave me Friday off. So maybe i'm not so dumb...

Life is good, life is great, life is unbelievable.

So friends, family, loved ones, strangers. I love you all. My posts up to this point have been on the more light hearted, joking, lets have a laugh side.

Spoiler Alert- This post is one of a different nature. It is more serious. This will display some of my deeper thoughts, instead of my sometimes ridiculous ones. So if your not interested, nows your chance to turn back.

I am going to give you guys a little insight to my life. I do not do this often, in fact, I have hardly ever, ever done discussed these thoughts. But, When i woke up this mornin, it was on my miIIIIiind, in fact for quite sometime its been on my mind. What is it? What has been on my mind- in a word LIFE. It's such a beautiful and precious gift. I just love hard experiences so much, really, i do.

Many of you may know, many of you may not know, when I was at the rightful age of 13 years old, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Google it. But basically, It's that disease all the old fogeys have that makes them shrivel up and not move very well. It is one where my beautiful, but lets be honest confused body attacks itself (Haha, no wonder i'm so confused sometimes, my body is messed up too) in all the joints. Everywhere that bends and moves is under attack by the good guys, or the "cops" inside my body. The "cops," you know like police men, in my body that are there to regulate everything and has the job to get rid of the bad guys that enter my body. Well, My COPS went haywire, and it turns out that a few are crooked cops, and are taking out the good guys (the joints) in my body instead of just the bad guys. My body fails to realize that my joints are good guys too I guess.

Basically, the affect of this that I FEEL, is quite literally chronic pain in everywhere that bends, all the time. Sometime accompanied by a lovely stiffness so that it wont bend at all, and nearly almost always accompanied with swelling. Now, I am quite the trickster, because I don't know if any of you know this, because often i chose to lie about it, but i actually do feel pain ALL of the time somewhere in my body. Sometimes, Somedays definately worse than others.

a lot of you may not know this about me because I decided when I was young that this pain would not run my life and get the best of me. It shifted my life quite dramatically however when I was 13. All of you know, I love sports, it runs in my family. When I was young, Sports was LIFE-- I did, watched, played, slept, ate, drank sports all the time. Everything revolved around them. Well, with all the joints in my body aching and in pain, I was forced to quite. I could not do them anymore. I honestly thought my life had ended. because life as i knew it up to that point, was over. little did i know it had really been able to just begin.

The reason I could not do sports anymore was not entirely due to the pain of my joints. I was on a low dose of chemo and very tired and sick all of the time. They did this to try to kill my immune system in hopes that when it built back up it would correct itself, basically destroy all the haywire cops, and leave only a few good and noble cops to retrain the new cops that would be joining the force the correct way, to only attack the bad guys. This process however of destroying my immune system was making me tired, sick, and worst of all my hair was falling out. It wasn't successful and I had had enough of it, I was 13, there's no way I would live if my hair all fell out.

Well, onto the next treatment, once again, didnt work. My pain was only getting worse and and my body less mobile. Then, my amazing cousin Jared, bless his big and amazing heart, called and offered a crack at treating it. I was... 15 by this point? I was up for anything. I flew out to Washington every month or so, and the treatment he was doing (a natural type therapy) was working, I was feeling better then before. After a while of seeing it was working, we decided it would be best if I moved out there for a while to get this treatment.

...this meant just me. At the age of 16. Moving away from my family, friends, life, and home. I was absolutely terrified, although i tried my best not to show it. However, all of I could think of is Why me? Why do I have to have this disease that took away the thing in life I was the ABSOLUTE most passionate about, sports, and now its taking my away from EVERYTHING else in my life, my family, my friends... I simply didn't think I could handle it. I felt like I had nothing anymore.

After about... a day of feeling like that. I decided enough is enough. Sure, I can be sad and scared and angry and upset with the Lord for allowing me this most difficult trial one could ever go through (or so at the time thats what i thought- dont worry, it has become a HUGE and indescribable blessing in my life). Or I could be happy. Be grateful I get this experience and get to push through it and grow SO much more than I ever could have without it. No longer would I be upset about this. And I havent since. At least not very often. (Except a scare about a year ago where I started another new treatment, and my hair started falling out again. haha, Like I said, bring on the pain, just leave the hair. That one i dont want to deal with).

I moved to Oregon at 16, into my cousins place, away from my parents and siblings and friends. I went to school there for a semester.It is here I met some truely AMAZING people. Real quick I want to tell you about this one girl, Anna. From the very first time I met her I remember thinking, I want to be just like her. She is the most amazing, cool, spiritually strong girl I have ever met. And you know what, to this day it is still true. I am blown away by her every time I recieve updates, shes amazing. She doesnt know this, but it is because of her and her new journey I am sharing this with you. Here's a little bit of what she is up to now-- She is recently married, just last month. And just after she got married her husband defeated CANCER for the THIRD TIME! INCREDIBLE. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Heres the blog, check it out. Insipring. Some people just blow my mind with how amazing they are. These are the people who give you hope and change your life, change the way you think, change the way you are. People like Anna and Chad, and everyone I met in Oregon made me realize the truest beauty and excitement this life is. For everyone. Especially those time in trials can be amongst the MOST amazing and BEST things we have.

I changed in Oregon. Decided that my disease will not defeat me. Would not define me. Would not limit me. And it hasn't. It has blessed me. It has led me to so many realizations that I would have never known without it. And it has altered the way I am able to view the world.

I have since graduated from BYU, all the while with barely anyone knowing about this disease, if they do, they do not know very much, and at most time not even remembering its there. Although I am constantly aware because I can feel it, I do my best to act as though it's not there either. Not because I am ashamed of it, because it is a huge blessing. But because I think its easier for others that way. I am able to get up every morning and fight through the pain at its worse and go to the gym. That makes the rest of the day not hurt so bad. I make attempts to shoot a basketball again, although this hurts and is not easy for me anymore. But believe you me, in the eternities guaranteed You'll be findin me on the bball courts all the time. Beating Michael Jordan. And Steve Nash. Too bad Kobe wont be there... we all know he aint goin to heaven. ;D

Anyways, you guys, I wanted to share this so that 1- it is recorded somewhere and 2-maybe, i dunno but maybe, offer up some encouragement to you. if you have somethin rough goin on right now, I promise if you see it through, look your trial in the face and say, you will not defeat me. In fact, say in YOUR FACE Trial, joke is on you, because guess what, this is no longer a trial but a HUGE blessing to me and I am even in fact so grateful that I have this AMAZING opportunity to go through this, because even though your tryin to defeat me, I am going to be SO MUCH stronger afterwards.

You all have the power to make it through trials a better person. When you simply just dont want too, and believe me, I know all too well those times where it seems it would be easier to not go through it, and just almost cry (I said ALMOST- most of you know I do not cry often either, after I was diagnosed, I cried for a few weeks maybe and decided that wasnt doing any good and there was no point, have VERY rarely cried since) because you just dont want it, don't recall signing up for it, ENDURE. it is those times when I tell you, sing a song, a hymn, and than all it takes is a simple prayer. Offer one up to you loving Father in Heaven STARTING by thanking him for the opportunity you have to endure this, but tell him "hey man, listen, i'm just not doin so well with it on my own right now" and ask him for help and strength, if even for a bit. He is waiting. I PROMISE, just waiting for you to ask so he can help you. Like you real father, he doesnt want you to be in pain or to have life any harder than it has to be for you, all it takes is for you to ask for help, and he will. This i promise you.

And guess what- heres the moral of the story. Moral of every story and ever situation which i tell my younger sister all the time. If we can choose the right- guess what LIFES NOT THAT HARD. NOT hard at all. Ever. No matter what! Just don't be stupid! Even those things beyond our control, in my case RA, or in Chads case cancer, in your case _____. We all have trials beyond our control. If your not already there, get to the point where you are grateful for it.

I am grateful for all of you, everyone. EVERYONE I have met has made me so much a better person in many ways. Please count your blessings and be grateful for this life. Do what you gotta do to make it right, than LIVE! and LOVE! and LOVE IT ALL.

Peace. Love. Serious Trials.