This time of year takes me back....

Takes me back to a time not so long ago.

Around a year ago as a matter of fact.

It was basketball season. This particular cold December-ish day was particularly freezing... and there was a BYU cougar basketball game that night. NOT just any old game, no. At this particular game, they would give you tickets to go watch the Cougars play at the Energy Solutions Arena in Salt Lake. Best tickets go to whoever was there first when they opened the doors for the game that night.

AWESOME! I thought... in previous years my sister, Ashley, would always have to sit outside in a line for hours before the doors opened, all day, to get tickets for games like these. This year, Ashley was on her mission, so i knew it was up to me know to wait in line to get those tickets. It was my turn to shine and i wouldn't be the one to let people down.

8am, no classes because I was finished up for Thanksgiving break. The game was at 7pm, doors open at 5pm. 8am, and I roll out of bed, put on my 3 layers of sweaters, coat, long johns, pants, two pairs of socks, Hot Hands and Toasty Toes, 3 blankets, stalking cap, and of course my mittens (for those of you who dont really know, I dont even think about going out in the cold without my mittens, ever), I grab my backpack so i can study while i wait in line, and I rush out the door and drive down the the Marriott Center.

"Self, you're the best! First one in line! Alright!!! Good one, Shayla!" I say as I sit in front of the doors, first in line...boy, its cold in the shade, but i don't care, being first in line makes it TOTES worth it!

9am... no one else in is line yet... 10am... not a single person....

hum, this is kinda weird i keep thinking. But i KNOW the second I leave the mad rush is going to come and I will have sat in the cold for two hours for nothing.... there's no way i'm leaving... but boy, hot chocolate would sure be nice around now....

11am.... 12.... 1pm.... no one. I'm the ONLY one. Wrapped in blankets.... sitting in front of the Marriott Center doors. A man walks past me. He pauses after he passes, and turns around.

Man: "Are you alright, Miss? Do you like, need a phone or a ride somewhere?"

Me: "Oh, me? No, no no. I'm fine, thank you. I'm just waiting in line... for the game... to get tickets..." And i glance around at the NOBODIES in the line behind me, I'm still the only one

Man: "Oh!" He says as look gives that look of 'uh, your a idiot,' and he points across the street at the Lavell Edwards stadium, "The game is over at the stadium, and it's not until Saturday." (It was the week of the BYU vs Utah football game that Saturday)

Me: "Oh, yeah, no I already have tickets for that game, I'm talking about the basketball game tonight. If you come tonight you get tickets to watch the cougars play up in Salt Lake."

Man: "Okay, welp, have fun... in line... " and he smiles and walks away.

This is where I officially feel like a LOSER. but 2pm....3pm... FINALLY, my buddy Spencer came to join me! haha, now there are two people in line. And I choose to ignore the fact that he only came because he felt SO bad for me for being SUCH an idiot. HAHAHA. to this day I still LOVE SPENCER BANTA for this. hahha... we laughed and studied for another hour and a half, still the ONLY ONES in line, until FINALLY others came to get in line.

This story has a happy ending... I got us FRONT ROW tickets to the game. haha, right next to the band. but Brandon Davies fell on us. AND Kyle caught me Chris Miles sweat band after the game. AND we proved the cougarettes are even more scary being close up.

I still wanna know why NO ONE told me not to camp out... jerks.

Being a good roommate

Let me reminisce for a moment and share a classic "Shayla KT" Moment (aka Kayla or Shaytie)

Sophomore year. We were ridiculous.

Our roommate, We will call her Megan M, No wait, I dont wanna give away who it was so we will call her M Myers. OHhhhhh M Myers!!! hahahahaha

She loved Chad Michael Murray, LOVED him. So one day KT and I were waiting for class to start and thought it would be hilarious to send Megan a text message. It went a little something like this "Oh my gosh! Did you hear that Chad Michael Murray died?!" Dont ask why we did this, cause we dont really know why.

HAHAHAHAHA, we thought it was HILARIOUS! She texted back like 30 minutes later saying "No, he didnt, I dont believe you." But she did believe us. she googled it. than when it wasnt true she had to act like she didnt fall for it. but she did.

BUT since she claimed she didnt fall for it, we decided we will catch her on a prank.

So, later that semester we saran wrapped her toilet bowl. She claimed she saw it before.

And we also put tin foil underneath her sheets. Like the one with the elastic through it so it stays on the bed. She claims she knew it was there before she got in bed. Which is IMPOSSIBLE because you couldn't see it and we heard it crinkle that night and LAUGHED SO HARD, but quietly so she couldn't hear.

Oh yeah, we also wrapped her desk chair up in wrapping paper and when she got home we told her we bought her a present. That it was in her room. hahahhaha, little did she know it was her CHAIR. hahahahahahahahahaha.

GOOD times! These few things made us officially the best roomates ever.

These are my confessions

1. Sometimes I like to sing out loud in public places. Okay-more like I start singing, don't realize its out loud until i notice the odd look from the person near me. This usually isnt until about half way through the song and I've already passed dozens of strangers, probably all lookin at me like "okay, crazy." You know what I say to them "YOU'RE CRAZY" and than I thrust one fist high into the air to demonstrate that I'm superior.

2. sometimes I also sing in the shower. But i recently stopped because singing leads to a weak attempt to dance. And believe you me when I say I was not ever meant to dance, I am extremely uncoordinated at moving my body and having it come out looking good.... and as i began to dance this last time in the shower, I almost slipped. It was then i realized this could get dangerous. So i stopped singing.

3. I say a lot of things that I don't really know what they mean. Sometimes I get away with it too. Although sometimes I dont. I've shared some of my failed attempts on here. Another recent one: I was taking the hottest guy in the world's pulse at work (him and I are mfeo=made for each other- i'm not kidding.). well, he started rambling off random numbers while I was counting the pulse in my head. So I said "well, GREAT! now I either have to start over or just beef the results" I do not know what beef the results means. Neither does he. and he called me out on it "What the heck? Beef the results? Did you just say that? What is that? a new phrase, were you trying to be cool?" He said to me. SHUT IT, yes okay I was trying to be cool. I am cool. Everyone says it. You just dont know anything. gosh. Lucky for him, he's so hot I didn't even get that mad at him for calling me out. I just laughed like an idiot and told him he only wishes he could come up with sayings that cool like me. I gave him permission to start saying it. He said he would not be caught dead saying that. I say its his loss.

4 again. Sometimes I say to myself: Self- you are soooo good looking. And i'm serious. And that makes me smile.

5. I hate running into people I sort of know. People I know only 2 things about them. Or at least I did know 2 things about at one point but these things were so boring I forgot them about 5 minutes after they said it because I thought "Wow, that's incredibly boring"

5 and 1/2. I hate even more when me and this person are the only people in the hallway walking towards each other. I panic and start to dig in my pockets to pull out my phone to act like I have to send a very important text right then. Its usually at that point i realize my phone isnt even in my pockets, so I have to dig through my purse (as if this isnt just SCREAMING "I'm trying my hardest to avoid eye contact so I don't have to talk to you, because i don't want to talk to you. You bore me.") I can never find my phone, So I decide to act like my shoes are the most interesting thing on earth and I glue my eyes to the ground, and just so i don't seeem rude, I decide that I am going raise my eyes at the last second as we pass to say a quick "hello! I didn't see it was you coming down the hall towards me, sorry we can't chat longer" Well, I start to get nervous so I usually raise my gaze from my shoes too early. They do the same so we make eye contact. Now we are trapped. So we both say "Oh, hey!" at the same time. We smile they say "How are you?" at the same time I was saying "Hows it go...you...too...ha?" Because my orignal thought is to say hows it going, then when they say how are you I switch my thinking to say the same thing too late, and it comes out sounding like something IDIOTIC, like "how goes you too going...." Then we both say "good" at the same time. And THERES STILL ANOTHER 3 SECONDS, the longest 3 SECONDS EVER, until we pass, so I giggle, then hold my breath and act like my shoes suddenly became very interesting again. after I pass I think to myself: "Self- Good one! You dodged that bullet!"

6. I really like to watch the disney channel. Still... yeah, i do. I even use my nieces and nephews as an excuse to watch it. I babysit them and ask what they want to watch. They usually say something lame like Ben 10. Then I turn on Wizards of Waverely Place on the Disney channel anyways and pretend that's what they wanted to watch.

6 and 1/2. Sometimes I watch it when I'm home by myself too... so sue me.

7. I enjoy playing in the rain. And I hate walking through snow.

8. Most of the time when I wake up, I feel like I am missing someone. I don't really know who or why I feel this way. However, I think when I get married this feeling will go away.

9. When I was young, my Dad told me I would marry someone named Phinneas Pharnsworth. I kind of believe this is why i'm not married yet. I don't want that as a last name, and I haven't met anyone by that name yet.

10. I fall in love with a new guy about every other day. And usually I am over it by that night. Maybe most girls get past this when they are 12.... big deal...i didn't. But I still think about that hott australian mysterious biker man I met last month... and I choose to ignore the fact there's a .2% chance of ever meeting him again.

11. My favorite snack in the world is "the snack that smile back goldfish." I like to act like they are swimming before I eat them, swimming into my mouth and I am the shark that devours them. But sometimes I like to be the Great Fish from Jonah and the "Whale" (which was never actually called a whale, just a great fish) and act like I am just transporting them to where they need to be. in my belly. I also love animal crackers, and i play with them before I eat them too.

12. Also previously discussed in my blog- my brothers liked to tell me lies when I was younger, I dont find out that what they said were lies til, like now. Here's a new one I have never told anyone. I don't remember if my brothers told me this or if I just made it up and believed it for a long time. But I always believed that you had to close your eyes during a prayer because then the holy spirits could come down during the prayer. And if you didn't close your eyes they couldnt come and grant the blessings in your prayer. So during my personal prayers i always sqeezed my eyes shut extra tight so I could get all the blessing I asked for. I realized a few years back this wasnt true, but I still squeeze my eyes tight during personal prayers just in case. However, during public prayers like at church, I keep them open, and look around to see who else has there eyes open too. And than laugh when I see someone doing the same.

13. I love to paint and draw, however I don't do this much anymore, and it's sad cause I should. I will.

14. I am still afraid of the dark. When I was growing up I always made my little sister go places with me if it was dark. Including out to my car at night if I left something in there. Even though it wouldn't be much help if a bad guy came, at least I wouldn't be alone, and this made me feel better. Oh I hate bad guys as well. They are stupid jerks.

12. reviewing some of these confessions makes me think i'm still a twelve year old girl at heart.

i like to sing along..

.... i sing to songs.

... and i sing out loud.

....and i sing in front of others.

welp, sometimes i sing to songs and i think i know what its saying, but i dont.

Dont act like you've never done this.

My favorite mistake in a song i've made is to that song "live like you were dying" by Tim McGraw.

I always thought it went like such:

"I went skyyydivin, I went Rocky mountain climbin, I went 2.7 seconds on a four wheel drive tailgate."

Skydivin= big deal. Rocky mountain climbin= big deal for some. Four wheel drive tailgate= ?? Did I know why that was such a big deal? No. Maybe because it was a bumpy road and he was in the back of a truck- i don't know. But i didn't question it.

....until i sang it in front of my sisters, and they laughed as they pointed out that those aren't even the words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8 watch the video. the chorus starts at 1:03

APPARENTLY its 2.7 second on a bull named blue man shoe, or something like that. It makes more sense, makes the song a lot better... but between you and me, I still sing it my way. I secretly like it better because I have been skydiving, rock mountain climbing, and 2.7 seconds on a four wheel drive tailgate too. So yes, i relate to that much, much better anyways.

either way- someday i actually do hope you all get the chance to live like you were dying. don't be embarrassed or sweat the small stuff. sing songs outloud, even if you dont know the words. the classic "fade and slur the words to the parts you dont really know but try to make it seem like you know what your saying (ie: that chumbawumba song.... i get knocked down, but i get up again... do wah de da de dah dowahdo.... i get knowcked down, but i get up again... fle flop flu fla de dah de dah do....)" cop out works almost everytime.

again, dont act like you never do this.

truth or dare?

My life as of late has been LAME. no funny sayings, which is unusual.

SO, i need to start doing more crazy things and reporting on the outcomes.

I will be taking DARES. Those who know me, if you dare me, i will do it if it isnt gay.

For example. Last week I went to dinner with a big group of work people. they dared me to talk to a table of 3 hottie hotties. They thought I wouldn't do it.

PAH-LEASE! as if that scares me at all. So, with my hair looking crazy flying everywhere because i was riding with the top off my car, I walk up to this table of boys and chat it up for a while. because i wanted to date any of them? nope, i've recently DESPISED dating actually, but i did it because they didnt think i actually would.

This lack of hesitancy when it comes to boys goes way back to the first grade, it all started with a letter i wrote to the hottest boy in the whole grade....

Yep, i gave that to him. i'm pretty sure Kaitlyn Clark dared me to do it.

SO- we will be playing truth or Dare, send me a comment on here, or a facebook message, or an e-mail. and i will either answer a question, or perform your dare. HOWEVER, you have to do one too. this game could get huge, i think its a SIIICK idea, i love it.

SO, Truth or Dare, READY- Set- GO!

my nephews

i went to church with my sisters family.

my five year old nephew said, shayla- lets arm wrestle.

"okay buddy" says i, "but dont cry when you get beat by a girl"

we both put our hands together and i start pushing

ashtain says "shayla, your supposed to push my hand, let me know when your going."

okay- rude- i was actually pushing as hard as i could you little man.

HE is FIVE!!! but let it be said that he is Ashman the StrongMan, so its not a pathetic as it sounds....

haha, this is just a cute side note-- I was at their house the other day and Ashtian comes up and says.

"shayla, i learned how to pump on the swings..." he lifts up his shorts leg real high "... and check thes bay-bah's (baby's) out!" HAHAHAHA, cute

so, i was at work doin my thang....

and was having a conversation with a man. i do not remember this whole conversation, the only thing i remember this part...

man: "it sure turned out to be a nice day after all."

me: "yeah, clear as a bird"

WHAT? what the crap was clear as a bird supposed to mean??

me: "sorry, that doesnt even make sense, ..clear as a bird.."

man: " i think you meant clear as glass"

me: "yeah, like clear as crystal glass"

man: "yeah, that too..."

where i got clear as a bird is beyond me.... they arent even clear.

pick up lines are harder than i thought.

So, I recently changed my work out schedule to night after work due to other obligations in the mornings. Well, i figured I would try it out this week at least and see how it goes.

It only took one day of going at night to convince me that this was a better option. and there was one major reason...

Hot Boy working the front desk

So, i walk in on Monday night and here's how it goes...

Matt (the hott boy)- "hey, whats your name?"

me: "Shayla"

Matt:" oh, how long have you worked out here?"

me: "a while..."

Matt: "how long is a while?"

me: "ummm, since like may-ish, but i usually come at 6am."

Matt: "oh, nevermind, you looked familiar. I think you look like a girl that used to work out here when I worked here before my mission."

me: ...(my thoughts are- oh, is he hitting on me kinda? no! he's too hott for that... he wouldnt hit on me..) "oh- were did you serve?"

Matt: "Fort L... (something- I stopped listening kinda), Texas"

me: "oh... cool. well, have fun working out, I mean... uhh... working.... here.... uhhh... Matt, is it? oh...k bye"

Great, I totally messed that one up, I thought as I started on the eliptical machine. but While I was working out I thought of a really good come back pick up line i should have said... dang it. (i'll tell you what it is in a minute)

Well, as I was finishing up my work out Matt was at the top of the stairs. As a passed him, he flashed me his charming smile, did "the nod"and said, "see ya..." He either said "later" or "Shayla", i prefer to believe Shayla, but either is valid. I said- "later!" and ran down the stairs.

I went back tonight. I walk in, and was very excited to see that Matt was there. "what should i say?" i thought to myself...

matt: "hey, hows it goin?"

me: "good- it was Matt, right?" (as if i kinda didnt remember....please...)

matt: "yeah! good memory"

me: "yeah, well i try!" (that was dumb, but i was on the spot. And just when I thought I couldn't get any dumber, I go and do something like this... and TOTALLY redeem myself.... well... you be the judge.)

me: "So, yesterday when i started working out I thought of a good come back i should have said to you. When you said A girl looked like me that came here before your mission, I should have said "Lucky her! not everyone is so fortunate to look like me"

matt: "yeah, thats good, but it's a little too late for that... the moment is passed (passed? past? i dunno, whatevs)"

me: "oh, your right... uhh... haha... yeah... its too, yeah its too late.... for that one... worth a shot though...haha...ehh... k bye." and than i ran up the stairs, gave him no chance to respond because I was turning red...how embarassing.

Great, if I didn't blow it the first time, I definately did that time.... awesome... oh well.

I'll see him tomorrow, and see what kind of fool I can make out of myself then. Although- happy ending is, he still said "see ya shayla!" with his charming smile, actually, this time it was more of a little chuckle, when I left... so maybe i haven't yet lost this fight...

But, now I realize it's not so easy being a guy having to hit on a girl. I have more respect now for when guys try to use pick up lines on me.... not that easy... not that easy....

let me hit you with some knowledge.

So below i am goin to pose two questions. These are demonstrations of thing that make me laugh but really wonder.

The first is courtesy of my uncle Ken. The raddest guy around.... actually to be honest everyone in my family is officially the raddest. I can't think of one single uncool person in my family, including cousins, 2nd 3rd, 4th cousins... besides sharisse maybe.... j jokin! Shes probs the coolest of us all.

k question numbero uno- thanks ken!

1- how come when we say pants it is always referred to in the plural. And how come whenever we say shirt it is always in the singular. For example- you always say "i need a new PAIR of pantS" but everyone knows your only buyin one. and if you ever need more then one you say " a FEW new PAIRS of pantS" generally, however, in this instance, a few normally means two, and everyone knows it. However, you always say "I love my shirt" And when you say "I need a new pair of shirtS" its always at least 2.

Why? Pants are only one article of clothing, same as a shirt, yet however its always plural. tell me why!

The next one. Courtesy of Cam. Cam is the SECOND most hilarious guy i know,(obviously the first being my bff kalani) there's never a dull moment around him... he's also a very inquisitive thinker. Here is his question.

Ima preface this one with a definition for ya-

awe. A, noun. 1, awe. an overwhelming feeling of wonder or admiration

So, how come when something has "SOME" or a little bit of awe, we call it AWESOME, and it is a really good thing. (awesome is Cams favorite descriptive word of anything he thinks is good, like himself... haha)

When something is FULL of awe, it is a very bad thing. hence, AWFUL. full of awe. how is full of admiration a bad thing? .... humm.....

so, what are some answers? I need some. Or some more interesting questions.HOLLAH AT ME!

Oh work

So I was at work. It had been a rather long and busy day.

I finishing screening someone, and I go to grab the next chart up to be screened.

I read the name before yelling it out to call that person back...

JASS (last name), HUGH (first name)

Hugh Jass I say to myself. Say it outloud and listen to what your saying.

And I thought my life was rough.... poor guy.

But at least I had a good laugh, I was laughin so hard i couldnt even call his name outloud... I skipped that chart and called the next one.

Thank gosh I'm not as dumb as you look, because turns out Mike, the manager i tricked about my schedule, made this fake chart as a joke to make me yell "HUGH JASS" out loud to call him back to the booth.

NICE TRY, MIKE! haha, sucka! the thing is, i really almost did yell this, and probably would ahve if i thought i could do it with a straight face.

Bray

It was after work.

I was Starvin Marvin. So i went to Costa Vida to get a delicious Sweet Prok Salad- mmm!!

Then my phone rings... it's my "clever" 11 year old nephew, Bray

me: "hey buddy! whatsup?"

Bray: "oh nothing. We want Costa Vida too!"

me: ..oh they must be here!... "where are you guys, i dont see you!"

Bray: "Turn around"

me: ...I turn, I dont see them...

Bray: "keep turning..."

me: ...probably on my third full circle in the middle of costa vida, by myself... "where are you?"

Bray: "just keep turning... turn..... keep turning...."

me: ... like an idiot i'm still doing circles in the middle of the line. I'm pretty sure a ton of people are looking at me like, whats this girls deal? I'm probably on my tenth circle by now.

Bray: "you dizzy yet? we're on University."

THEY WEREN'T EVEN IN COSTA!! They saw me walk in as they drove by! And the little twerp had the audacity to make me spin in circles like a dang fool... hahahahahaha. how does he come up with this stuff.

my big question, however, is why did i continue to spin in circles after like, i dunno the first THREE? why didnt i stop spinning? ...i have no idea... i dont wanna know.

... nor do i want to know what those people in line thought of me spinning in so many circles.

once again...

So... apparently it is not "at the rightful age of..." APPARENTLY it is "at the RIPE OLD age of..."

who knew??!

Yet again... another thing i have gone 22 years having no idea i was completely wrong...

And all i can say is WOW.

did y'all know this? or am i the only one who didn't know?

Dang it..

So after that more serious post below, I will provide you with a new Shayla-ism that will make ya laugh so you dont leave feelin depressed.

So, a couple days ago, Tuesday to be exact, I go into work.

My Manager: "Shayla, don't you have today off?"

me: "oh boss, of course I don't have today off, or else I wouldn't be here. I'm not an idiot who comes to work on her days off. Geeze."

My Manager: "Humm, okay. well when do you have off."

me: "Saturday..."

He smiles, rolls his eyes, and goes about his business, all the while i'm thinin, oh boss, you are so silly. Don't try to tick me to thinkin I have the day off. I'm not going to fall for it.

You see, my manager is a funny guy, and he jokes around a lot. so i thought he was joking.

I go home, look at the schedule.

...I had that day off. Crap.

Lucky for me, I had been on a date with my managers best friend, so I got the inside scoop on his favorite candy. Twix and Snickers.

Perfect. I bought him a twix and snickers. I wrote a post it that said "Mike- Sorry that I "twix" ya about my schedule, hope it made you "snicker"

I threw them at him, okay maybe i didnt throw them, but I handed it too him and said "Please dont fire me! I know for a fact these are your favorite candies" He laughed and told all the other managers about my stupid mistake and how i gave him a hard time, they all laughed. and i left. embarrassed.

But at least I wasn't fired. I think the candy did it. And they gave me Friday off. So maybe i'm not so dumb...

Life is good, life is great, life is unbelievable.

So friends, family, loved ones, strangers. I love you all. My posts up to this point have been on the more light hearted, joking, lets have a laugh side.

Spoiler Alert- This post is one of a different nature. It is more serious. This will display some of my deeper thoughts, instead of my sometimes ridiculous ones. So if your not interested, nows your chance to turn back.

I am going to give you guys a little insight to my life. I do not do this often, in fact, I have hardly ever, ever done discussed these thoughts. But, When i woke up this mornin, it was on my miIIIIiind, in fact for quite sometime its been on my mind. What is it? What has been on my mind- in a word LIFE. It's such a beautiful and precious gift. I just love hard experiences so much, really, i do.

Many of you may know, many of you may not know, when I was at the rightful age of 13 years old, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Google it. But basically, It's that disease all the old fogeys have that makes them shrivel up and not move very well. It is one where my beautiful, but lets be honest confused body attacks itself (Haha, no wonder i'm so confused sometimes, my body is messed up too) in all the joints. Everywhere that bends and moves is under attack by the good guys, or the "cops" inside my body. The "cops," you know like police men, in my body that are there to regulate everything and has the job to get rid of the bad guys that enter my body. Well, My COPS went haywire, and it turns out that a few are crooked cops, and are taking out the good guys (the joints) in my body instead of just the bad guys. My body fails to realize that my joints are good guys too I guess.

Basically, the affect of this that I FEEL, is quite literally chronic pain in everywhere that bends, all the time. Sometime accompanied by a lovely stiffness so that it wont bend at all, and nearly almost always accompanied with swelling. Now, I am quite the trickster, because I don't know if any of you know this, because often i chose to lie about it, but i actually do feel pain ALL of the time somewhere in my body. Sometimes, Somedays definately worse than others.

a lot of you may not know this about me because I decided when I was young that this pain would not run my life and get the best of me. It shifted my life quite dramatically however when I was 13. All of you know, I love sports, it runs in my family. When I was young, Sports was LIFE-- I did, watched, played, slept, ate, drank sports all the time. Everything revolved around them. Well, with all the joints in my body aching and in pain, I was forced to quite. I could not do them anymore. I honestly thought my life had ended. because life as i knew it up to that point, was over. little did i know it had really been able to just begin.

The reason I could not do sports anymore was not entirely due to the pain of my joints. I was on a low dose of chemo and very tired and sick all of the time. They did this to try to kill my immune system in hopes that when it built back up it would correct itself, basically destroy all the haywire cops, and leave only a few good and noble cops to retrain the new cops that would be joining the force the correct way, to only attack the bad guys. This process however of destroying my immune system was making me tired, sick, and worst of all my hair was falling out. It wasn't successful and I had had enough of it, I was 13, there's no way I would live if my hair all fell out.

Well, onto the next treatment, once again, didnt work. My pain was only getting worse and and my body less mobile. Then, my amazing cousin Jared, bless his big and amazing heart, called and offered a crack at treating it. I was... 15 by this point? I was up for anything. I flew out to Washington every month or so, and the treatment he was doing (a natural type therapy) was working, I was feeling better then before. After a while of seeing it was working, we decided it would be best if I moved out there for a while to get this treatment.

...this meant just me. At the age of 16. Moving away from my family, friends, life, and home. I was absolutely terrified, although i tried my best not to show it. However, all of I could think of is Why me? Why do I have to have this disease that took away the thing in life I was the ABSOLUTE most passionate about, sports, and now its taking my away from EVERYTHING else in my life, my family, my friends... I simply didn't think I could handle it. I felt like I had nothing anymore.

After about... a day of feeling like that. I decided enough is enough. Sure, I can be sad and scared and angry and upset with the Lord for allowing me this most difficult trial one could ever go through (or so at the time thats what i thought- dont worry, it has become a HUGE and indescribable blessing in my life). Or I could be happy. Be grateful I get this experience and get to push through it and grow SO much more than I ever could have without it. No longer would I be upset about this. And I havent since. At least not very often. (Except a scare about a year ago where I started another new treatment, and my hair started falling out again. haha, Like I said, bring on the pain, just leave the hair. That one i dont want to deal with).

I moved to Oregon at 16, into my cousins place, away from my parents and siblings and friends. I went to school there for a semester.It is here I met some truely AMAZING people. Real quick I want to tell you about this one girl, Anna. From the very first time I met her I remember thinking, I want to be just like her. She is the most amazing, cool, spiritually strong girl I have ever met. And you know what, to this day it is still true. I am blown away by her every time I recieve updates, shes amazing. She doesnt know this, but it is because of her and her new journey I am sharing this with you. Here's a little bit of what she is up to now-- She is recently married, just last month. And just after she got married her husband defeated CANCER for the THIRD TIME! INCREDIBLE. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Heres the blog, check it out. Insipring. Some people just blow my mind with how amazing they are. These are the people who give you hope and change your life, change the way you think, change the way you are. People like Anna and Chad, and everyone I met in Oregon made me realize the truest beauty and excitement this life is. For everyone. Especially those time in trials can be amongst the MOST amazing and BEST things we have.

I changed in Oregon. Decided that my disease will not defeat me. Would not define me. Would not limit me. And it hasn't. It has blessed me. It has led me to so many realizations that I would have never known without it. And it has altered the way I am able to view the world.

I have since graduated from BYU, all the while with barely anyone knowing about this disease, if they do, they do not know very much, and at most time not even remembering its there. Although I am constantly aware because I can feel it, I do my best to act as though it's not there either. Not because I am ashamed of it, because it is a huge blessing. But because I think its easier for others that way. I am able to get up every morning and fight through the pain at its worse and go to the gym. That makes the rest of the day not hurt so bad. I make attempts to shoot a basketball again, although this hurts and is not easy for me anymore. But believe you me, in the eternities guaranteed You'll be findin me on the bball courts all the time. Beating Michael Jordan. And Steve Nash. Too bad Kobe wont be there... we all know he aint goin to heaven. ;D

Anyways, you guys, I wanted to share this so that 1- it is recorded somewhere and 2-maybe, i dunno but maybe, offer up some encouragement to you. if you have somethin rough goin on right now, I promise if you see it through, look your trial in the face and say, you will not defeat me. In fact, say in YOUR FACE Trial, joke is on you, because guess what, this is no longer a trial but a HUGE blessing to me and I am even in fact so grateful that I have this AMAZING opportunity to go through this, because even though your tryin to defeat me, I am going to be SO MUCH stronger afterwards.

You all have the power to make it through trials a better person. When you simply just dont want too, and believe me, I know all too well those times where it seems it would be easier to not go through it, and just almost cry (I said ALMOST- most of you know I do not cry often either, after I was diagnosed, I cried for a few weeks maybe and decided that wasnt doing any good and there was no point, have VERY rarely cried since) because you just dont want it, don't recall signing up for it, ENDURE. it is those times when I tell you, sing a song, a hymn, and than all it takes is a simple prayer. Offer one up to you loving Father in Heaven STARTING by thanking him for the opportunity you have to endure this, but tell him "hey man, listen, i'm just not doin so well with it on my own right now" and ask him for help and strength, if even for a bit. He is waiting. I PROMISE, just waiting for you to ask so he can help you. Like you real father, he doesnt want you to be in pain or to have life any harder than it has to be for you, all it takes is for you to ask for help, and he will. This i promise you.

And guess what- heres the moral of the story. Moral of every story and ever situation which i tell my younger sister all the time. If we can choose the right- guess what LIFES NOT THAT HARD. NOT hard at all. Ever. No matter what! Just don't be stupid! Even those things beyond our control, in my case RA, or in Chads case cancer, in your case _____. We all have trials beyond our control. If your not already there, get to the point where you are grateful for it.

I am grateful for all of you, everyone. EVERYONE I have met has made me so much a better person in many ways. Please count your blessings and be grateful for this life. Do what you gotta do to make it right, than LIVE! and LOVE! and LOVE IT ALL.

Peace. Love. Serious Trials.

walk much? nope

yes, man walking behind me on the way to church today, i did trip over nothing on the sidewalk and fumble my steps a little bit.

yes again, man still walking behind me on the way up the stairs to church, i did trip UP the stairs and then blurt out

"For Pete's love!!"

?????

I was going to say "for Pete's sake." Than I decided to say "for the love" and it came out "for pete's love." I am not even sure what either of those stupid phrases mean anyways.

Yes, same man that was walking behind me both times I tripped over nothing asking me if i'm okay, im fine. and i'm not dumb. walking is hard.

do i walk much? apparently not.

Sometimes i stop to think....

and than i forget to start.

Did that really happen?

So, I was on a date tonight. This is already a good story, because it just happened today, and it happened on a date.

We were eatin some dinner (Zupas= DELISH!) and watchin some TV, the NEWS came on (yep- the news again :) hahaha, its like my worst enemy... i shouldnt watch it anymore)

A story came on about an accident a cowgirl had at a rodeo. Thats all it said with "more about this story to come later." I had heard about it (so i thought...) So I told my date what happened.

me: "Oh, I totally heard about that. This cowgirl had an accident, both of her arms are broken and she's still competing in the rodeo this weekend. Its amazing!"

Daniel: "Wow! really? both arms?"

me: "Yeah, Well, I think so cause I heard about it on the radio." ---my thoughts: Wait a minute, I dont listen to the radio, I literally haven't listened to the radio in years. hummm --- "Well, actually... I don't know if i really heard that or if it was just a dream..."

--But, you guys, i SWEAR to you I heard that on the radio, which is impossible because i havent listened to any radio anywhere in forever....but it's SO real to me cause I remember... thats the only thing i heard. and I thought... "thats weird, theres a rodeo this weekend? cool, i'm going to one next weekend" ....i swear i heard it. so i googled it. turns out it may not actually be a real story...

but, when i sat back and thought of this- it is the most ludacris thing ever. How the WORLD would chick ride a horse with NO ARMS? now thats just ding dang dong STUPID! theres no way. Also, girls dont even compete in any rodeos i've seen. and she couldnt with NO ARMS- chello!!! you have to hold onto the reigns with you dear life.

...and I made this obsurd claim. outloud. on my date. why? WHY? why do i say things i don't know a true.... hahahaha

BUT- thats just me! never actually thinking before I speak and it turns out to be not as smart as it sounded in my own head. Welcome to it!

Do you know what i'm talkin about though. When you have a dream and you can't remember if it really happened or not? Like, you SWEAR it happened, but in real life, it didn't?

Skipped Bail

It's generally hard for me to speak and it coming out a good thing,

Like the time I was at Jason's Deli eating some dinner with Blake, Kara, and Ashley. We were waiting for our food, and the TV was on.

I was watching, the News was on. (Huh, I just had an "ah-ha" moment!!! Generally this would be something that is so dumb I would keep to myself, but since this is my blog about all my less than brilliant moments, I will share. i JUST NOW, literally just now realized why its called "the news" because it is shares all the NEW info!!! get it?!?! "the news" and "new" information!!! How convenient!! Thats such a cool thing- and now it totally makes sense. Some of you are probably thinkin- are you serious right now Shay? And if you know me at all, you will know that YES, I'm actually dead serious. I just put that together. hahahaha...WOW) anyways back to the story.....

THE NEWS is on, and all of a sudden they post this picture of a man, which looks like a mug shot, you know the one I'm talking about, where the person commits a crime and they always show a head shot of them with a mean or like they are high on drugs or hungover look on their face. So this picture pops up with big words across the bottom that say "SKIPPED BAIL"

Huh? I thought to myself, that's a funny name. I wonder what he did? So I decided to ask and see if they knew....

"Who's Skipped Bail??" ..... crap! I thought immediately after I said that- OBVS thats not a name! The guy skipped bail!!! OOOOHHHHHHHH!

Well, apparently everyone else at the table understood right away what "Skipped Bail" meant, that it was not his name at all.

And they all laughed at me. histerically. forever. in fact, sometimes, they still laugh.

But it ended up alright. Because shortly after that, my brother Blake who had been teasing me relentlessly, Mr. "i'm such a perfect genius smarty pants who never says anything dumb" (yes thats his nick name) said: "The guy drowneded." YES! He Did! drownedED?! theres no extra ED on the end. And it sounded just as ridiculous as Who's Skipped Bail, Thank You!!

Bray has all the brains.

My favorite past time is to go hang with the nieces and nephews. The cutest and coolest kids ever. My 10 year old nephew, however, is actually smarter than me sometimes.

We were driving to Salt Lake watching the movie Madagascar. HILARIOUS

There's this scene I had never noticed before where one of them, I think Gloria the Hippo, yells... "Oh Sugar Honey Iced Tea..."

This made me laugh, I cracked up and repeated it because I thought this was such a random phrase. I had heard it before in other movies, even in a song that i listen to almost every morning at the gym.. "..shawty is the sh-sh-sugah honey iced tea..."

Me: "HAHAHA, Sugar honey iced tea. Hahahaha... thats random."

Bray (from the back seat in the car): "Umm, Shay, you do know thats an acronym right..?"

Me: ?? "Acronym for..."

Bray: "...Take all the first letters shay..."

Me: "Sugar Honey I.... (my eyes get really wide) ooohhhhhh, thats bad!" hahaha- i laughed the rest of the way up to Salt Lake, because This is my new favorite phrase, its so funny. Bray and Tasha laughed the rest of the way too, at me.

Thank you, 10 year old nephew, for noticing that acronym long before I did and than pointing it out to me.

How did he even know that before I did? I asked him, and he said, because its obvious...

Dang you, smart guy.

sometimes...

Do you ever have those moments where you realize what your doing is SO STUPID and you look like an IDIOT.

Like, for example.... okay, one time I was on BYU campus waiting for my next class to start. It was a beautiful day and i'm outside talking with my Dad on the phone.

I am very intrigued in our conversation, I'm pretty sure I was explaining to him some fascinating research I had read about the brain. and then suddenly I realize what I am doing.

I am trying to step on my own shadow to get it off my feet. Yes. This is sadly true.

Imagine me doing this, if you will. I had been raising one foot high in the air and stomping on my other foots shadow while quickly hoping up in hopes it wouldnt be attached only to find the other foots shadow was attached. Than i'd do a small hop with both feet and than try the other foot.

what?!?! I must have looked like a complete dufus. The worst part is, I had been doing that for a good 5-10 minutes.... great.

....yes, attractive guy-man that just walked by, I have no excuse so i'll admit it, I am an idiot...

At least he tried.

So, I make it sound like I always get picked on and no one stands up for me.

This isn't true. One time my kind brother-in-law stood up for me once as the conversation had turned, yet again, to these all-too-common Shaylaisms.

"Hey guys, come on give her a break, she is kinda like Yogi Berra." Eddie said

Yes! Finally, someone who realizes how profound I am! "yeah, exactly! Just like Yogi Bear!"

....the cartoon Bear, he could have been smart. I thought thats what he was talking about. How the heck am I supposed to know who this Yogi Berra person is anyways. I thought he just said it wrong.

Everyone just started laughing. All Eddie can say is "ya know, forget it. I tried. And thats the last time I can stand up for you."

....Oops... hahahaha. He did try.

And for those of you who dont know who he is either, and I know there's some.. click HERE (on the word here) to see some of his quotes. I like this guy, he's hilarious.

Lamans Terms

If February, in my phlebotomy class, we were reading in the training manual about the phlebotomy procedure and came upon the sentence...

"To put it in layman's terms..."

"OHHHHH, f'real?!" I thought to myself (and thank gosh it was just to myself because as you may know I have a tendancy to say these things out loud)

My ENITRE life, I have thought the the phrase was Lamans terms....why?

Well this made sense to me, because in the Book of Mormon, Laman and Lemuel are idiots and don't really get things the first time, and typically things had to be reexplained to them in a different way. It always bothered me that no one ever said Lemuel's terms, so I convinced myself Laman must have been more stupid, so I have always disliked him more.

It also always astounded me when my nonLDS school teachers would use this phrase.

"Wow- that phrase must have caught on, and now it's pretty popular. How cool! The church IS true!" I'm 98% positive I even wrote "Lamen's terms" in papers in high school.

Turns out for 22 years of my life I was wrong again....

Christmas.

Christmas for me means two things. The first is family. Second-FINALS. yuck.

Well it was getting to Christmas season- and I had Finals coming up. I also had a study group set up with two VERYYY attractive guys. :D I discovered that studying with cute boys makes finals more bearable.

Well, I woke up and I had a shirt I really wanted to wear. It's totes cute, and since I was studying with cute boys I felt it was only appropriate to wear something cute. The problem was that I also felt like wearing Christmas colors. HELLO- it was Christmas time and so I felt it was only appropriate to wear Christmas colors. CAN YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?

I debated for a while. I couldn't decide, so I put on the cute shirt and left, a little bit distraught that I didnt have on Christmas colors, but I would get over it.

We are studying, I am answering their toughest questions, even teaching them a thing or two. We find some practice problems to work on and as I am writing, my eyes see the color of my cute shirt. it's green. all of a sudden it clicked!

Instead of just thinking to myself I declare out loud- "Green IS a Christmas color!" --oh great, did I just say that out loud?

The cute boys both look up, "Yes, it is. Very good Shayla."

I smile and nod. Shove my face back into my book, totally embarrased and act like that never happened.

I pray at least once a week they've forgot this riduclous statement....

My mother never fed me alphabet soup

At BYU- and I think everyone will agree- football season is the most exciting time of the year. And basketball- obviously. But each fall it is the best when theres a HOME GAME and we get to go to the LaVelle Edwards Stadium and watch the almighty cougars Defeat e'rybody!

I went to this game with my Best Friend- KT Pugmire (hollah!) Unfortunately for me, her new boyfriend had tickets in a different part of the stadium and she decided to sit with him.

"Well, thats rude. Where are his tickets?" I asked as we were approaching the stadium.

kt: "section T"

me: "Oh! Great!! I'm in section O! We are right next to each other!"

kt: stopped in her tracks, giving me that WTFreak?! look.

me: noticing the look. "Yeah, you know, L-M-N-O-T! We'll be next to each other."

kt: "um... no..."

me: "yeah! L-M-N-O--- ohhhh. it's P...." pause "T isn't even close- huh? Man, I was WAY off"

That actually happened.

So what?! I was sick the day they taught the alphabet in high school.

Please note that KT laughed- VERY hard. But there's good news- she did NOT pee her pants. well, maybe a little. hahaha.

Oh, Brother

When I was young my older brother told me that my mom couldn't wear watches. He told me it was because of the iron in her blood made them go BIZZURKE and not work.

(Two side notes: Hearing me tells this might be a little more humorous. Among a small list of words that I cannot pronounce quite right- Iron is one of them. I say it just like its spelled, like it SHOULD BE PROUNOUCED -- eye-ER-on -- if you have not heard me say this, ask me next time you see me- it's totes worth it. I Also cannot say jewelry. its not as easy as it looks. I say -- jur-UH-lee-- its not my fault my mouth just doesnt move like that. I also cannot say film. It comes out -- fill-UM-- kinda like an idiot would say it. But you know what- I'm over it.)

(Second side note: It's not THAT funny. Don't judge me. and don't act like you can say every word ever.)

ANYWAYS-back to the story. Last Summer, yes, the summer of my 21st year of life. My mom and I are doing what we do best- shopping. The Dialouge is as follows,

Mom: "you know what? I really need a watch."

Me: "Mom- you can't even wear watches."

Mom: Puzzled look on her face. "umm- why on Earth would you say that I can't wear watches?"

Me: "Well, duh Mom, because the irON in your blood. It makes them break, obvs"

Mom: Look has since changed to a sweet daughter of mine when did you become such an idiot look (you know what I'm talking about) "HAHAHAHAAAAA- Why would you think that? That is not even true."

Me: "I'm gonna kill that Blake. He told me that when I was 5 and I still remember."

Do you guys see what I grew up with?! It's no wonder I am the way I am. My brothers fed me false information in my most vulnerable stages of life, so young and impressionable. It makes me wonder what else I think to this day is true-but is just a LIE!

Oh, Brother! Why did you ruin my life so?

Texas down!

It was a Wednesday night. My little sister, Sharisse had worn my shirt that day, YET again.

For those of you who don't know- this was the single cause of contention growing up in my life. I hated when my sister took my clothes (oh--and when someone would take my parking spot-but thats a different story. Oh-and i hate bad guys too, again- different storIES)

During this argument back and forth, I really let her have it. The arguement had begun in the downstairs kitchen- and went a little something like this: "SHARISSE- i freakin HATE you wearing my stuff! Take it off RIGHT NOW- I wanted to wear that today AND tomorrow! (Did I really? No, but thats not the point.) Sharisse came back with some smart-alic comment and than ran upstairs. I followed her up yelling the whole way.

My brother, Caleb, was in the bathroom, heard us arguing, and shouted "if you guys don't shut up i'll come out there and MAKE you!" I tried to explain this TRAGEDY of her wearing my shirt YET AGAIN. And he didnt even care. He said if I say another word about it I'd be sorry.

This made me even MORE FURIOUS!! I was having the worst day ever, and I was mad. For me, these two things aren't a good combo. My mind started racing, just words flowing through my head rapidly. My mouth couldn't keep up.

My thoughts: 'Caleb cannot tell me what to do! I'll show him another word! I will have the last say in this arguement not him...Sharisse is goin down...' I then decided to speak these thoughts outloud and it came out a little something like this:

"SHARISSE- YOUR going down! TEXAS DOWN!!!"

My thoughts after these words spewed out of my mouth: 'what?! Texas down?? Why the world did I say Texas down? what does that even mean? When I thought to myself "sharisse is going down" I thought, well what is down? China? no- texas... these thoughts must have occured at the same time I was telling Sharisse she was going down. And I wanted to let her know just how far. I hope Caleb doesnt notice this phrase I just made up and makes no sense...'

Suddenly- the Next thing I hear is and OUTBURST of laughter. Not only from the bathroom. But from Sharisse. OH and from Everyone downstairs, who all heard it as well. Including the missionaries who were there for dinner. DANG IT! everyone noticed that might have been the stupidest thing they've ever heard. But than they remembered whose mouth it came out of, mine, and they understood. These stupid phrases are normal.

How embarrasing.

And no one will ever let me forget it. I think it's my Mom's favorite story to tell company at the dinner table actually.

A little insight into this blog/my life

OH my Family!

Every time we all get together- one way or another the conversation swings around to the same topic--

ME

And my all too often ill-thought out comments.

These are now known and widely accepted as Shayla-isms. Actually whenever anyone says something that sounds dumb- everyone chimes in "That was SUCH a Shayla-ism."

Want some examples? Well- each day I will provide you with more and more.

Some will be a blast from the past- some will be things that happen the very same day.

You'd thing that i'd have a few- but i've learned that every single day i surprise myself yet again by how someone so smart ( :D me) can think/say something so-- NOT SMART!

So I hope this site brightens your day, because afterall- at least you arent the idiot that said/thought that- so at least you have that going for ya...

Peace.Love.Shaylaisms